[therealme]

hi, i dont expect anyone to reply to this,

a few weeks ago i posted about seeing the profile of the sick person who abused me as a child, in facebook.
i was under the impression that this person had died, but no, this person is still going.
part of me was agree with this person, but the loser inside was like forgive and move on. the only problem i have is this person ruined my life, i never knew how much till i became a adult . now im on meds to stop me remembering what this person did, and other meds to stop me from taking my own life.
i dont like change
i dont trust people ( if your in my trust bubble you are honered )
sorry to rant here,but i needed to get it out or i would of exploded.

[Yaowen]

It is heartbreaking what happened to you! I wish I knew what to say to ease your pain!

[Rose76]

I'm sorry you've had to be reminded of this person whom you might wish had never existed.

I guess I'm odd, in that I don't agree with this idea that it's good to forgive those who have severely harmed us. I don't even know what that means. I can see forgiving someone who expresses genuine remorse and wishes to make amends as best they can. Sure - I'll do that in a heartbeat. Then there are those who aren't sorry and would commit their offense all over again, if they had half a chance. Why the he!! would I forgive someone in that category?

"Well, forgiving is supposed to be good for the forgiver." How so? Not if there's no thought or intelligence behind the forgiving - IMO. I'm not saying to go around feeding the fire of hate. That's letting the abuser live rent-free in your head. I think the ideal outcome is to have this person no longer prominent in your thoughts because you've got better things to think about. That's my idea of "moving on."

You don't have to forgive to be able to move on. I would leave the forgiving to the Almighty, who knows men's hearts. In no way are you failing to deal with what happened by not forgiving. Forgiving, in this matter of yours, is not your obligation or your responsibility. Taking care of yourself is.

Try to live in the now. This abuser is still out there. I take it you are not available to be further abused by this individual. That's good. You have survived . . . so far. You have a right to decide to ignore this person. That might not be easy to do. Still, I'ld focus more on ignoring than on forgiving. This person is unworthy of your being in your thoughts.

[therealme]

FORGIVING is the last thing on my mind .
there arent enough meds on the planet that will heal my body or soul.

thank you both for your replies.

[Fuzzybear]

[puzzclar]

One may not forget the abuse, but one can find ways it made you stornger.

Rants help the mind work through things and allow the mind to rest.