[pixiedust72]

I keep thinking that if I push through, life will get better but there’s been no evidence of that.

I will still be myself and I’m someone who isn’t capable of getting myself to where I want to be.

I don’t have the willpower or skills to succeed as an adult in careers or relationships.

I don’t know why I kid myself into believing that things will get better when nothing will change just like nothing has changed.

Possible trigger:

I feel like I’ve done everything I want to in life and the things I haven’t yet done are not possible for me. I don’t feel like sticking around to see whether they happen or not with the potential for (even more) failure.

[moodyblue83]

You have to put yourself in the path of success. It will require a little effort on your part. Sometimes it just comes to you. Circumstances dictate much of our lives. Some people have it handed to them. Others have to work hard, some a little.
Don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle. How bad do you want it ? Try just existing for awhile. Your life is not yours to take.

[puzzclar]

You are right, you will be yourself, always.
Knowing where you want to be is one thing, taking a bite out of that large goal is another, then repeating takes on even more of a challenge.

I said things like you have here, and it took time to figure it out. I have seen people succeed, and others fail. It may seem bleak know, and soemthing could change in the future. Knowing if you will fight for something to change could help.

Are you willing to be a fighter?

[TheGal]

(((pixiedust)))

Where do you want to be? Do you know? Could you describe it to us? (Without outside influences or societal pressures)

Many people in the throes of depression have great difficulty projecting themselves into the future.

So if you have an idea of where you want to be, as you say, then that is a good first step.


But the depressed-side is negatively colouring your perception of yourself and your sense of self-worth. That needs to be tweaked. And it can definitely get better. It's just hard for you to see that right now. Pretend you have the flu but of the brain and, though horrible, it will pass. Give yourself a lot of TLC and self-care.


I don't know your story, do you have a pdoc and are you being treated for depression? Do you have a psychologist or someone you can talk to?

Sending you good vibes and hope you feel better. Keep posting!

[TheGal]

Self-compassion, something we all need more of, myself definitely included.

Here is a guided meditation by Meg James on InsightTimer:
Insight Timer - #1 Free Meditation App for Sleep, Relax & More

There are many meditations available on this site/app.. here is a quick search for self-compassion ones:
Insight Timer - #1 Free Meditation App for Sleep, Relax & More

Light a candle, take a bath, have some tea... whatever works for you to take care and pamper yourself.

(((pixiedust)))

[Rose76]

@pixiedust72 - I'm sorry you're feeling so defeated. To be pushing along and not see progress is awfully discouraging. Relationships plus career make up a huge part of what life is all about. To see lack of success on both those fronts can seem like too much to bear. I've had failures in career and in relationships. I've felt overwhelmed with loss and disappointment. It can hurt terribly.

Just looking at how well you express yourself, I'm sensing that you do have considerable skills. It seems you are an educated person. I know that doesn't automatically translate into worldly success. I won't tell you to just buck up and know that you're life will get better. It's not for me to say. I don't know what your future does hold, or might hold.

If this discouragement you feel has gone on for more than a couple of weeks, then it's likely that you are depressed. In a depressed state of mind, you badly need support. You can get some of that here. Maybe you can get some elsewhere also. I would say: Get whatever support you can get from wherever it can be found. Often we modern humans live such isolated lives. I think that's a lot of the problem.