[Wants2Fly]

Couldn't manage the energy to get on yesterday.

Started with a new T, and the intake interview, going back over all that's wrong, took a lot out of me.

Also can see a pattern in recent posts -- feeling energized, worried about being "manic" -- feeling a lot of excitemely about new ideas -- but not following through with much positive action (then, how much can I realisitcally get done if a spurt of energy lasts a few days, then the lupus and depression fatigue sets in?)

-- a few things happen that start to "trigger" unhappiness, self-doubt, low-self-esteem -- perhaps some are fantasies ("I feel isolated) and reminders that maybe I haven't taken actions that woulda helped (Did you PM anyone? Go into chat room?: A few efforts, but mostly no)

The little things become bigger -- I feel overwhelmed -- and plop, here I am back in a fullblown depressive episode.

Well, I'm going to follow through on a couple things today, even though my "heart's not in it.'

Thank you for the wonderful, huge, heart-warming response to "Feeling Isolated" as I started the downward slide. Will be back on line later tonight. Hope I run into some of you night owls -- maybe even chat -- or get around to some PMs.

Thank you so much for the love and comfort and tips about how to reach now.

[SeptemberMorn]

Ahhh... I recognize the patterns. Try not to beat yourself up too bad. Push, but not too hard so that you overwhelm yourself. Have you tried some sort of acountability with your friends, either here or in 3D? Pick something small and ask someone to help you keep that goal. Do it, even if you don't want to. (Ha! Of course you won't want to. ) It's the movement, even if you feel that you didn't get ahead, that keeps you from sinking any more. That kept me afloat when I was in deep depression. When you manage something, no matter how small, praise yourself profusely... just like you would your own sick child... even if you feel you're going overboard with the praise. Those would be positive thoughts, right?

Are you on any medication for depression? If not, I'd seriously consider it if I was you.

Hang in there! You'll fly again!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Wants2Fly]

Yjes, i'm on small doses of several meds. One reason why I'm starting with a new T -- aside from I need support -- is to hook up with a new physician to check in. Esp. important as I'm in recovery for alcohol/drug abuse.

Thank you for caring.

[SeptemberMorn]

Oh, My!! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wants2Fly}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I think you are such a courageous person!! Hang on tight and keep talking to us whenever you need to. I'm certainly going to be sending positive waves your way!

Do like the "Little Red Engine that Could"... "I think I can... I think I can... I think I can." And if you doubt it, just ask us what we think!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[lost_lonely]

((((((((((Wants2Fly))))))))))) Hang in there. I have faith in you!

[Fuzzybear]

Thinking of you, hang in there!((((((((((((((((((((Wants2Fly))))))))))))))))))))

[itsjustme111]

Oh wow; ((Wants2fly)); thats so much to deal with all at once. But you recongize your needs and doing good things to get better. Addictions are so hard to overcome and I wish you all the best in this recovery. I am glad u have a new t to help with all of this and I think its important that you realize what your body and mind is telling u. You need to be proud of working so hard.

Take care; thinking of u

justy