[itsjustme111]

Between no sleep, feeling stressed out, no food; I am completely drained. My ex called today, didnt check my messages so I did not call back; was too late. He said to phone around noon so we can make arrangments. I hope he is being honest this time. From my understanding, he is taking them back tomorrow evening. It will be so hard to take them back but I do need a break. I think its important for the kids to see him; they have not all summer. And I think they have talked to him only a few times.
So, I will call my doc. I had called him already, but I said I cant go in to the h because of the kids. Thats okay because he told me to call anytime; he was going to keep checking his messages at the office this weekend. So as soon as I know whats going to happen with the kids; I will call and see what he can do. If I can go in the h or not.
I know, I am so confusing. I go up and down lately with decisions. Hard to make the right ones; or unsure which are the right ones. But I know I am ready to pass out and not get back up. I cant do this anymore. So tired, I need a time out. hehe; feel like I am in trouble; needing a time out. Now I know how my kids feel. lol. I will post after I talk to my ex.

justy

[SeptemberMorn]

You're making the right decision to go into the hospital. Being able to talk to your doc isn't all you need.

Hang in there! I'm pulling for you!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[lost_lonely]

(((((((((((justy))))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((((justy))))))))))))))))))))

[Wants2Fly]

My heart and prayers are with you.

[itsjustme111]

Thanks everyone, I have known what I needed all alone, but its confusing in this head of mine.
Well I called my ex twice now. He is not answering. I was supposed to call around noon. Its 3:00 now. So once again I have no idea what he is up too. What a dumb a..
I so want to tell him what I think of his bull. But its not worth the frustration and the arugement. I got all of the kids things ready to go; so they know that dad was supposed to take them today. Its hard to prepare them, then we all have no clue whats going on. What a way to make ur kids feel unwanted.

justy

[itsjustme111]

Okay; I just tried to post and I did something and lost it; dont know where it went. I will try again.
I am wondering who is going to win this fight. Is it going to be my mind telling me that I am fine, I dont need the hospital, or doctors, to keep going the way I am; OR is it going to be my heart and body telling me that I am shutting down.
I am so friging angry. Maybe I should just calm down; maybe he will call. My mind is racing so bad, it sucks. I cant keep thoughts straight, nothing makes sense to me.
One minute; I need help. The next, I am fine. This battle in my head is driving me insane. I want it to stop.

justy

[Maya]

I feel for you and your suffering. When your mind gets to racing and you can't think you can't make good decisions. Try to sit down somewhere, take some deep breaths, listen to some quiet music and see if you can slow down. I hope and pray you get the help you need to make it through this crisis. There are a lot of people on this forum who care about what happens.

The vision of your goodness will sustain me through the cold
Take my hand now to remember when you find yourself alone
You are never alone… (John Denver)
Mars

[Wants2Fly]

I went thru a bad breakup last year.

Sometimes I called my ex to express my pain, anger, frustration. Sometimes this was okay, bec. I have always been one to "suffer in silence" so speaking up for myself was a step forward.

But after a while, it just resulted in a lot of nastiness that I caused, and it hurt me.

I hope things work out better for you.