I am still alive

This is just to inform you that I am still alive and not plotting evil and ingenious ways to go insane. I am just getting used to the notion that there is a Psych Central again. When it went down, it was like losing it permanently. I know Doc had to take it down, but people will react to these things in different ways. My old favorite stand-by is to cut myself off from all contact.

It may take a while for me to get back into communication mode again.

Hey, try not to act too shocked. I isolated myself for 11 years and I am still at it for the most part.

The good news is I'm not addicted to morphine. I'm just stuck on it for life because my joints have self-destructed due to my CP...and they can't be salvaged for various complicated reasons. They couldn't take me off morphine even if I were addicted to it. That's how bad the pain situation is.

I am propping up my leg with a rolled up woolen shawl, but I have to be positioned just right and I still need the long acting morphine. I may still need the other type, it's too early to say. I am trying to reduce my pain to as little as possible any way I can, because I can't take it any more.

I want to have some semblance of a life again.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.

Hey Hamstergirl!!
What eve rhappened to that seat you were trying to get? Did they funded it?

gab

I won't know for at least six weeks if it's going to be funded or not and then we have to find an "approved" store.

Father Lindsay had offered to help out with the cost of the cushion, if it meant it would get it into my hands any sooner. He's still offering to help, bless him.

I'm going to try and "ride it out" though. I've lived with this pain since February. I can live with it for a bit longer. I have to live with it. This is my body, this is the only one I am going to get. I have to expect some level of pain for the rest of my life. It's best if I'm steeled against it, rather than unprepared for it.

I feel more than a little outrage at all this waiting for help though. A person with fewer outer emotional resources might have committed suicide under these conditions already. As it is, I feel like dirt every day and have turned to my word processor in order to surivive.

If I weren't able to freely write my feelings out, to Doug and to others, I'd be doing a lot worse. I owe Doug a lot for reading my manure.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.

I wish I had the resources to start a group home for all my new friends here on this website. Where we could all have our rooms and isolate when we had to, and then come out, and find people who understand in the common areas.

And we would look after each other, and make sure those of us who aren't eating enough -- bec. of money or pain or the illnesses we have (mine takes away appetite) eat. And there would be food in the frig -- maybe not the most expensive steak, but healthy rice and fruit in season that doesn't cost the earth

And we would help each other through the rough spots

And we would know that the others there understand because they have been one is right now

Kind of like what we have in cyberspace but in 3D space

Prayers and hugs

Well, that sounds really good. But, some of us are very jealous of our privacy too.... then the shallow stuff:

1- If any of you snore I'll kill you.
2- My farts are stinky. I don't poop roses, so make sure the fan works or we will all suffer.
3- I have a cat, if my cat cannot come, neither will I.
4- I like cooking breakfast, I'll cook it for everybody, but don't expect any more cooking from me. By the way, my favorite breakfasts come in a box (cereal, pop tarts, toaster strudles, etc.)
5- I like all kinds of music and I do karaoke to control my stress, by the way, my karaoke might cause some stress to some of you. I sing for therapy, not professionally!!

Anyhow, anybody else? LOL

gab
<div class="foot">(Edited by gloria on 08/27/04 12:19 PM.)</div>

6) A lot of the time, I am up at 3 in the morning. I sleep like a vampire. Or used to...during the day. I've turned to prayer to get my ZZZZ's now. Good thing too, because my shrink is reluctant to prescribe anything. He's scared of doing damage or addicting me.
7)I hope you like Mozart. I listen to his songs...over and over again.
8) Get used to regular visits by the paramedics. Don't be too alarmed if they cart me out on a stretcher. It's the only way to get me to emergency. If I'm talking and waving to you guys in the lobby, I'll be back by morning.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.

Okay -- that fantasy dream house just got more complicated.

Looks like we need soundproof rooms, areas where it's okay for cats to roam, and areas that are allergen free.

Big fans.

A housecleaner for the common areas; every person for him-herself in private rooms so beloved messes are not disturbed.

oboyoboyoboyoboy