[Jazz91]

why does it seem like everyone is out to make my life a living hell i just want to live happily and not have this contstant urge to kill myself (this is not a suicide note) it just doesn't seem like the people around me dont realize that i cant handle all the pressure that is on me right now. i feel like telling every one to f**k off and leave me alone nobody seems to realize there is a guy out there who wants to rape me i lost a baby and that my world is falling apart around me

what have i done to deserve this?

[nowheretorun]

hi Jazz..

that doesnt sound any fun at all... no wonder youre sad and angry too..

i think sometimes people have totally forgotten that the others around them are flesh and blood and get wounded and hurt..

im certain a lot of factors have gone into the current state of affairs... not the least of which is desensitization across a large section of the population... we're simply worn out...

but not all of us... so, hang on... look for good sources to lead you into a better frame of mind... people here have a lot of experience and ideas.....

but books, walks, talks with others who identify, quiet time, mad, angry time, time to process... all will help...

hoping others have some ideas too..

[RozG]

((((((((Jazz)))))))) i'm crap at giving advice so all i can say is hang in there...we DO care...and take all the support you can get from school, family, friends...anybody

[Jazz91]

i just feel like the world is out to get me

[nowheretorun]

it can feel that way at times Jazz... not all of it is tho.... good people are around... i understand how they can seem invisible tho....

a lot times, for me, i found what i expected to find.. if i expected to find the boogeyman, sure enuf, i would....

finding good people takes a little more active effort, but it pays off.. they are there... trust me...

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( Jazz )))))))))))))

[Jazz91]

thanks guys your advise and support is great but i just cant get everything out of my head and i dont want to try just to be let down again life just doesn't seem worth it for me

[Pseudonym]

Have you considered or looked into any professional help? Oftentimes we don't let ourselves think we're bad enough to need it, but it seems evident to me (I am not a professional helper) that you could use it, especially with the thought that the world is out to get you. If you really feel that way, it's a common symptom of clinical depression, for which there are a lot of things you can try.

It might be hard, but consider spending a bit of time alone with yourself. I recommend letting people know that you're doing it, and asking them to bear with you (if you need to), and then just keeping quiet for a day. Read, listen to music, etc., but try to shut out potential distractions. It's only for one day, though, and it's a way for you to get a chance to hear your inner thoughts. Sounds corny, but it can be a much-needed deep breath and allow you some insight on how to get at the solutions to your problems.

Not that I think you might, but just to be on the safe side, please don't do anything drastic. If you want to talk, I recommend coming here to PC where we all spend a lot of time, and looking at the chat room. You can also just post long rants if that helps, or PM me or anyone else.

Again, corny-alert: there are a lot of us here who, despite what it may seem, have been through these things before. We may not always know what we're talking about, or have perfect solutions, but we will always listen and try our damnedest to understand. That can be helpful if you think those around you "just don't get it" or want to make your life hell.

*hug* - good luck!

[wickedwings]

((((((((((((jazz))))))))))) i understand this pain you feel. please seek out people who will give you support. you have friends here at psych central.