Hi, for all of you who don't know, i am in the Maldives on a two week holiday with my mum in attempts to get her mind of my sister (who died recently). She has been doing great and being away has helped me get away from some things back home. Though i never considered myself at all dependant on alcohol, i was always a big 'partier' and so decided to give up alcohol and draw away from some friends who were not good influences on me.
Everything is going good at the moment, but I feel so down. I am mad at myself for not being thrilled at my mum's improvement and for craving alcohol. I am finding it increasingly hard to get out of bed in the mornings and look after my mum and get on with the day. I am just so...bored with it all. I cannot really think of a more appropriate word. I didn't know whether or not to post this in depression because i have had no 'sad' feelings or ANY feelings what-so-ever, but i just have this constant feelings of exhaustion. I am craving to drink or stop taking my schizophrenia medications so that i just have SOMETHING to feel. IDK, just felt like a rant really because when you are stuck in a foreign country looking after a mother who i can only describe as having a complete mental breakdown, you don't have many people to talk to.

[Pseudonym]

emotional flatlining, especially about stuff that most people'd have a big response too, is a definite symptom of depression, so I think you posted this in the right place. I really can't advocate drinking - it seems like it might be just the trick for the blues, but it really just enhances them a few times. Don't be mad at yourself for craving - it's a physiological response, so there's nothing to be ashamed about. Other than that, I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of advice, other than to say that I check the board a lot, and I know a lot of us do as well. If you want to talk, here is a great place to do it. Trust me, I know what you're feeling - boredom is a good word to describe it, even if you're busy.

*hug*

[puckyjan56]

I know the feeling of being bored. I have been that way all day today. I'm sorry about your Mom and the loss of your sister. It's hard to be depressed and look after someone else that is too. My thoughts are with you and everyone here rants and raves and ask for hugs and help. So post anytime, I care, in fact, all of us do............pj56 xxxoooo