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Old Apr 07, 2008, 11:53 AM
Peppermint_Patty Peppermint_Patty is offline
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HI Everone,

I am a 42 year old female and lately I have been getting some mood swings where I start to get emotional and I end up crying for several hours.

Anyway I am wondering if I am suffering from depression or if it might be perimenopause or if my thyroid medicine needs to be increased (I am hypothyroid).

When I get enough sleep, my mood is much improved. During the times when I get enough sleep, I feel very, very happy, confident, and upbeat. I only feel really low and start worrying about stuff when I don't get enough sleep.

Anyway... when I find myself having these really blue moods, I find myself worrying about things like my parents and also worrying about myself.

My parents are healthy but they are old. My Dad is 83 and my mom is 76. I not only find myself ruminating about taking care of them but I also get sad wondering who will take care of me when they are gone.

I am single and live alone. While I have some friends, a few cousins, and my brother (who happens to live 2,000 miles away), I feel like I have no one that I can really, truly depend on, if I needed help.

I also have been sad lately because my job will be coming to an end in about 6 to 12 months. I am getting interviews, but I just feel like no one is going to want to hire a 42 year old woman when they can hire someone in their 20's.

Anyway... I would appreciate any advice anyone has. Also if there's anyone out there who is in a similar situation as me --- living alone and dealing with aging parents-- how do you cope with it all???

Feeling sad right now,

Peppermint Patty

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  #2  
Old Apr 07, 2008, 12:23 PM
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Brian37 Brian37 is offline
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im the wrong gender to answer this, but there are plenty of great women on this forum who might have good insight on this
  #3  
Old Apr 07, 2008, 07:08 PM
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Justgiving Justgiving is offline
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Maybe a visit to your doctor might help you to know if it is perimenopause or if your thyroid medicine needs to be increased.

I do not live alone so I probably can't really understand how you feel in this situation. I'm sorry you don't have a close friend you could talk too. Nobody at work right now you can trust enough?


I'm sorry your job is coming to an end. You would be surprised though to know how many companies prefer to hire older people. btw You are not that old. At 42 you are at the right age to enter a brand new world of discovery and beauty.

Take good care!
  #4  
Old Apr 07, 2008, 08:01 PM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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(((((((((Peppermint_Patty))))))))))))))

Nobody here can diagnose you, but I just did some websearching, and it does say that depresson can be a symptom of hypothyroidism. It could be mood swings due to perimenopause or another medical condition as well, it could be just the stress you're under as well (since caring for anyone can be stressful as well as other things you've mentionned).

Have you talked to your doctor about the mood swings? Can you go see a therapist to talk about the stresses you're currently under, or perhaps get a referral to see a pdoc to prescribe something?

Wishing you well, take care of yourself.

Welcome to PC Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression? Keep posting!
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Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?
  #5  
Old Apr 08, 2008, 12:01 PM
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Pseudonym Pseudonym is offline
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For what it's worth, Patty, I was hearing about a study (lemme know if you need me to find it, or else can someone tell me where I saw it?) that asked older people (in their 80s and so forth) what the best years of their lives were. The data showed that, in order, the best decades were the person's 80s, then 70s, then 60s and so forth. And you're only 42 (Douglas Adams fans might be tickled by that) I agree that it gets harder to compete for (certain) jobs when you get to around your age, so for that I'm sympathetic, but as justgiving pointed out, you'd be surprised. They might not be the type of job you want anyway :P

Welcome! Looking forward to more posts, and lots of love and hugs.
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them.
The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'?
My life's so common it disappears.
And sometimes, even music
cannot substitute for tears."
-Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River
  #6  
Old Apr 08, 2008, 11:08 PM
geekgirl geekgirl is offline
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Hi Patty,

No one can tell you if you're going through perimenopause except you and your doc. I started myself about the same age as you are now. I'm still in it 6 or7 years later.

Check out www.minniepauz.com. There's a list of 35 symptoms. Also, if you can find it, there is a GREAT book out there called "Could it be Perimenopause?" I think you can find it used on Amazon for just a couple bucks.

For what it's worth, I'm single and living by myself too. It's no picnic. But I'm also seeing there is a big upswing to it Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?... I don't have to deal with a spouse when I am cranky, irritable, moody LOL. I can let things go to pamper me.

I have kids, though. They're grown and we have a decent relationship and we have fun, when we can get together. The closest one lives 150 mi away, one is moving 2000mi away this summer. Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?

Coping isn't easy sometimes, but I've found calling my sisters and friends helps a lot sometimes.

Oh...and while I'm thinking of it...they DO hire folks our age!! I actually landed what I think is a dream job just six months ago. So, just keep trying. I had to get a couple of jobs I really didn't like but needed for income before I got this though.

Keep posting, I'm sure there's others out here in a similar situation.
  #7  
Old Apr 09, 2008, 12:44 AM
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Pseudonym Pseudonym is offline
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Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?

Well done, geekgirl! That was incisive and helpful. You even made ME feel better about being single! Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them.
The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'?
My life's so common it disappears.
And sometimes, even music
cannot substitute for tears."
-Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River
  #8  
Old Apr 09, 2008, 06:38 PM
Peppermint_Patty Peppermint_Patty is offline
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Hi Geekgirl (and everyone)

I am sleeping a little better now and mood-wise I feel better too, however I still feel a bit fragile emotionally.

It seems like when I have trouble sleeping it sets off these "woe is me" black moods where I think about stuff and start worrying about things, or I just start feeling sad.

I think if isn't perimenopause, it's probably related to my hypothyroidism. I got diagnosed with it recently and I am still not stabilized on my thyroid meds yet. I have read that hypothyroidism can mimic depression and I wouldn't be suprised if sleep difficulties don't upset this balance of hormones etc.

Anyway... regarding being single... I actually love being single except when I feel sad.

I am not sure if a husband would be helpful during my sad moments or not... since most men do not enjoy listening to women's emotional issues... but when I do feel sad or down it sure would be nice to have someone to talk to, who would just listen and offer positive encouragement..

I think if there is a problem with being single it is the fact that one typically has too much solitude and not enough togetherness.

However when is one married, one has too much togetherness and not enough solitude!!! Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?

It's too bad there isn't a relationship where there's a happy medium--a nice balance of solitude and togetherness, for if such a relationship existed, I would gladly give up my bachelorette ways! Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?

Peppermint Patty
  #9  
Old Apr 09, 2008, 06:50 PM
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Pseudonym Pseudonym is offline
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Location: Memphis, TN
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let me give you my number. Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?

Seriously though, feel free to PM. I'm a registered, certified "Sensitive Male", and obviously not in a position to take your solitude, so it's safe. It may not be your happy medium, but it's not too bad, right? For what it's worth, I feel the same way about alone time. I need one of those dishwasher magnets, except instead of saying "dirty/clean", it says "welcome/back off!"
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them.
The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'?
My life's so common it disappears.
And sometimes, even music
cannot substitute for tears."
-Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River
  #10  
Old Apr 10, 2008, 08:21 PM
geekgirl geekgirl is offline
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You know, I HATED being single when I first got divorced. But I think that was because I was married 23 years and never really was single. I married young.

Now...fast forward six years and I don't know if I could be married. I honestly told the guy I'm dating that I'm ferell (sp?).
  #11  
Old Apr 11, 2008, 11:35 AM
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Pseudonym Pseudonym is offline
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Will Ferrell? Feral?

I think it's a matter of perception. Some days I curse to the seven suns that I'm single, and some days I luxuriate in it. I need a way to fix my perception in one way or another Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them.
The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'?
My life's so common it disappears.
And sometimes, even music
cannot substitute for tears."
-Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River
  #12  
Old Apr 11, 2008, 07:23 PM
Peppermint_Patty Peppermint_Patty is offline
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Hi Geekgirl,

Feral? As in incapable of being domesticated?? LOL!

Yeah I know what you mean! LOL! :-)

99.9% of the time, I love my single-ness. I only hate it when I am feeling down.

I think if I could build a good support system up of people that I can depend on, talk to about stuff, etc... and also people that I could run around with on occasion, travel with, etc., I think then at that point, I would see absolutely no downside to being single.

Peppermint Patty
  #13  
Old Apr 11, 2008, 08:38 PM
geekgirl geekgirl is offline
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That's it! Incapable of being domesticated!!! Which is honestly very strange. I was rather domesticated creature when married and raising my kids. I think divorce and menopause changed a lot of things for me.

It is hard finding a good support system. I got lucky. I had to move nearer to my mom and sister when I took the job I have now. That helped.

Still, my mom's 82 and can't get around. My sister is married and while I love her husband to pieces (he's really a good guy), they do "couple" stuff a lot. It is hard finding friends in a new town who are my age and single.
  #14  
Old Apr 11, 2008, 10:27 PM
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Pseudonym Pseudonym is offline
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It's hard to find friends in a new town, period, much less age-appropriate and single! Not that I've been trying so hard.... Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them.
The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'?
My life's so common it disappears.
And sometimes, even music
cannot substitute for tears."
-Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River
  #15  
Old Sep 06, 2008, 06:16 PM
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nonightowl nonightowl is offline
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I'm glad I found this thread. I had actually attempted to start a similar thread about a month and a half ago when I joined, but I never got any replies.

I'm 46, and I started having insomnia about 2 years ago. It got worse last year. My primary doctor figured it was stress, and my ob/gyn said I was perimenopausal at my age, and that insomnia is a common problem. Both doctors prescribed medication.

My primary had me on Prozac for daytime stress, which might help me sleep better at night. It did not, so I had Ativan in case it didn't work. The Ativan KNOCKS me out, but because it can be addicting, I try not to take it very much. Ob/gyn gave me Klonopin. It takes longer to work, and it also knocks me out. I've tried herbs, but they just take the edge off. They don't make me drowsy at all. I really don't want to take things that much.

In the past few years, I get overwhelmed or anxious more easily and more often than I used to. I also can get mood swings or feel depressed. In my case, I think there's various reasons for my insomnia: Hormones, worries in life, apartment with thin walls with neighbors who play their music at night, the hot weather (bedroom has no A/C), "rebound" effect from Ativan or Klonopin, etc. There's no one black and white cause for insomnia, unfortunately.

I've never been officially or medically diagnosed as "anxious" but I feel I have the nature to feel like that about things. And, this "transitional" time of my life makes it worse.
  #16  
Old Sep 07, 2008, 09:00 AM
BETosca BETosca is offline
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Funny, I (almost 42) have been struggling with anxiety and likely depression for about 7 months now, and I only yesterday, when reading a magazine for women over 40, realized that this could all be a perimenopausal thing.

My main things are ruminating anxiety (that sometimes can be really overwhelming), lack of energy and motivation, irritability, and on and on. All the typical depression & anxiety stuff. But above it all are the sleep issues- it's hard to fall asleep sometimes, and even when I *do* fall asleep easily (because I am so exhausted) I end up waking up 2 or 3 hours later. So I lie there and get all anxious about how crappy I know I am going to feel the next day because I can't sleep, which of course keeps me up even more. It's a vicious cycle.

Like you, sleeping well definitely helps- though in my case it's certainly not a guarantee that I will have a good day.

Anyhow, from everything I've read, I gather that regardless of whether anxiety/depression are part of perimenopause, the treatment is similar. Of course there is the hypothyroid link as well that can contribute. In our city we have a women's health centre as part of one of our hospitals, and they take a multifaceted approach- counselling, meds, diet and exercise, etc. I may well as my GP to send me there. Perimenopause can last for years and years, and ugh, who wants to go on with this stuff for that long?
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Thanks for this!
nonightowl
  #17  
Old Sep 13, 2008, 06:24 PM
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nonightowl nonightowl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BETosca View Post
Funny, I (almost 42) have been struggling with anxiety and likely depression for about 7 months now, and I only yesterday, when reading a magazine for women over 40, realized that this could all be a perimenopausal thing.

My main things are ruminating anxiety (that sometimes can be really overwhelming), lack of energy and motivation, irritability, and on and on. All the typical depression & anxiety stuff. But above it all are the sleep issues- it's hard to fall asleep sometimes, and even when I *do* fall asleep easily (because I am so exhausted) I end up waking up 2 or 3 hours later. So I lie there and get all anxious about how crappy I know I am going to feel the next day because I can't sleep, which of course keeps me up even more. It's a vicious cycle.

Like you, sleeping well definitely helps- though in my case it's certainly not a guarantee that I will have a good day.

Anyhow, from everything I've read, I gather that regardless of whether anxiety/depression are part of perimenopause, the treatment is similar. Of course there is the hypothyroid link as well that can contribute. In our city we have a women's health centre as part of one of our hospitals, and they take a multifaceted approach- counselling, meds, diet and exercise, etc. I may well as my GP to send me there. Perimenopause can last for years and years, and ugh, who wants to go on with this stuff for that long?
I could have written this myself. My GP wasn't much help, as she didn't even think it could be perimenopausal, and at MY AGE!!

Maybe I'll bring it up with OB/GYN later. YEARS??? I thought just menopause itself was years. Sheeesh!!!
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Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?

Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here.


Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?

"Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time."
  #18  
Old Sep 13, 2008, 09:05 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
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I'm through the pause (58 next month :-) and my 40's were kind of like you describe with it being occasional, "gee, maybe this is hormones/perimenopause!" a surprise thought. I found, for me, it was all a slightly better version of my 20's again (I was much more emotional and had more problem in my 20's), the depression in my 40's wasn't quite as bad as in my 20's, the anxiety wasn't as bad, etc.

For sleeping, I used/use Benedryl children's flavored strips, they are usually just enough to make me sleepy but I'm very susceptible to meds. It all gets much worse when you get around 51 or 52 and the hormones go away completely, then it gets REALLY interesting, LOL. If you have a therapist, mine was a lot of help from about 46 to 54-55. Just having someone to help sort things out and lend a bit of support. I don't think doctors have enough time these days.
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  #19  
Old Sep 14, 2008, 12:26 PM
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nonightowl nonightowl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
I'm through the pause (58 next month :-) and my 40's were kind of like you describe with it being occasional, "gee, maybe this is hormones/perimenopause!" a surprise thought. I found, for me, it was all a slightly better version of my 20's again (I was much more emotional and had more problem in my 20's), the depression in my 40's wasn't quite as bad as in my 20's, the anxiety wasn't as bad, etc.

For sleeping, I used/use Benedryl children's flavored strips, they are usually just enough to make me sleepy but I'm very susceptible to meds. It all gets much worse when you get around 51 or 52 and the hormones go away completely, then it gets REALLY interesting, LOL. If you have a therapist, mine was a lot of help from about 46 to 54-55. Just having someone to help sort things out and lend a bit of support. I don't think doctors have enough time these days.
Oh, to be in my 20's again! I had such fun, and I SLEPT LIKE A LOG. I slept through the night, and I did not have to get up for the bathroom. LOL I could also sleep in any position and not wake up with a stiff neck or shoulder like I do now. Anyway, since I have occasional allergies, I will only take Benadryl in that case. Although it does make me sleepy, the ingredient in it is the same as in Unisom, and after a few days it loses its effectiveness. Plus, it leaves me with a groggy feeling upon wakening up.

My therapist has been somewhat helpful on that, but I actually haven't seen her recently due to schedule conflicts. I plan to see her before we come to the end of ANOTHER year!

You're right--doctors don't seem to be able to spend much time with their patients these days. I got 30 minutes with my physical therapist while getting treatment for neck strain. I only wish I got 30 minutes with every health practioner I see, whether GP or specialist.

I hate to think this is a "preview of coming attractions". LOL I also heard it is different for every woman. My ob/gyn said a lot depends on attitude too. Hopefully they will come up with even more treatments other than HRT, which seems so controversial.

Thanks for your input!
  #20  
Old Oct 24, 2008, 12:20 PM
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nonightowl nonightowl is offline
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FYI, everyone...I started a social group for this, among other things in this stage of life! Called "Women over 40".
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Call me "owl" for short!


Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?

Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here.


Perimenopause Mood Swings or Depression?

"Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time."
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