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#1
Apr 09, 2008, 06:58 PM
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I just got home and he is GONE! All his stuff is gone....everything except his scrubs and shoes for work and a couple of shirts. The scrubs and shoes I just bought for like FIFTY dollars! Money I didn't have to just BLOW AWAY!!! I think he left me to go back to California. He was going to go last week for a couple of months, but he had JUST gotten a new job and I reminded him of that and the fact that it is going to help out tremendously having him work as I have been paying for EVERYTHING for the last year and 4 months. I have supported him for so long and now he just leaves!! What kinda crap is that?! No note, email or anything.
I seriously don't know what I am going to do. I just want to wash my hands of him and just let him go, but I love him so much. He is not physically abusive and is a complete wimp when it comes to getting angry or anything. I mean, he never gets angry. I should have known something was wrong because he was supposed to go to my T session today after I got off work I was going to pick him up and said he was under then weather and to go without him (in an email) I will NOT beg him to come back and I will NOT stop moving forward. Yet, my heart is totally breaking and I don't know what I am going to do without him here by my side. I guess I am just a huge problem. I must have too many problems or something. Maybe I am just too screwed up for him and I just don't belong in his world anymore. I don't know because he left me NO NOTE! I called my T and left her a message. She called me back and I am going to see her tomorrow at 10am for an emergency session. I think it is so chicken @*$& to just leave and not say anything...just leave....WHO does that??? Just put me out of my misery...please! I am just so full of emotion that I want to scream and cry and yell!   BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#2
Apr 09, 2008, 07:09 PM
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((((((((((((BJ)))))))))))) i'm so sorry this has happened to you and i wish there was something i could do to help but there isn't anything i can do except let you know i care. i know it's rough and nothing i can say will make it any easier so...  and  to you and please do take gentle care of yourself as much as you can. you're in my thoughts and i just hope things work out for you.
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#3
Apr 09, 2008, 07:24 PM
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Thanks KJ! I know there is nothing you can say, but just having your support helps a lot. I keep thinking about it and I am just so confused....I am so hurt and angry too.
I know I will get over it one day, but right now that knife is buried so deep in my heart that it hurts a TON! BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#4
Apr 09, 2008, 07:29 PM
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I'm so sorry! My heart's with you
(((((((((((((( onlymedid ))))))))))))))
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#5
Apr 09, 2008, 07:38 PM
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Oh, I am so sorry.
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#6
Apr 09, 2008, 07:51 PM
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some men are wimps and can't face it. i'm sorry this happened to you. hugs and kisses pj56
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#7
Apr 09, 2008, 08:07 PM
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Thanks FuzzyBear, Razzleberry and PJ56....I am trying to just keep my chin up, but I just feel like I got kicked to the curb....it hurts.
Like my T told me on the phone "Don't think about next week or next month...think about today and getting through today. Remember you will see me tomorrow!" cuz I said I don't know what to do now and I don't know if I can get thru this. BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#8
Apr 09, 2008, 08:13 PM
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((((((((BJ)))))))) i know it doesn't feel like it right now but you will get thru this. and your T is right...one day at a time. and just remember...it's not you who's done anything wrong here! BJ...forgive me if you think it's out of order for me to say this but maybe he's depressed and this is his way of reacting to it. a lot of men don't own when they're depressed and don't know how to deal with it. and i'm just saying this to try and hit home to you that it's not your fault. a man will do what he will...doesn't mean you're to blame in any way. sorry if anything in this post has upset you and please feel free to tell me to mind my own, i'm just a bit of a klutz at trying to help sometimes...but it's just because i care. be gentle to yourself and don't forget...we all care about you here.
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#9
Apr 09, 2008, 08:32 PM
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KJ, I think you are absolutely right. He has been sobbing himself to sleep at night because he misses his son and family so very much. I talked with him right before he started his new job and we had a plan to save up and send him back to California for his birthday on May 24th, but I guess that wasn't good enough.
I understand everything you say and I don't think anything was wrong with anything you said. You may think you are a klutz when saying something, but I don't think you are...you are dead on and I know you care! Thanks, BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#10
Apr 10, 2008, 10:18 AM
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> I have supported him for so long and now he just leaves!! What kinda crap is that?! No note, email or anything.
for you, only.My suggestion is that he panicked, and did not know how to deal with it, and ran for his life. People do that. I know. Probably not much comfort for you.
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#11
Apr 10, 2008, 10:27 AM
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(((((((((BJ)))))))))
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#12
Apr 10, 2008, 11:21 AM
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thats so anonying !! Call him to give back the money :bang_head
He is a **** and i think you will get over him soon enough.
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I am here to help with a ready love...whenever i am online. 
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#13
Apr 10, 2008, 11:25 AM
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The thing is...he is a wonderful,caring, loving person who just can't deal with my anger and bipolar and DID. He emailed and told me he was getting suicidal because he felt like he never knew when I would blow up or take stuff out on him.
Now I feel like I don't know what to do. I don't feel safe at all, but at the same time I don't want to tell T because I could NOT deal with hospital right now. I need to be with my family. I don't know what I am going to do....
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#14
Apr 10, 2008, 11:32 AM
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Leave him alone i say. you have too much to deal with at the moment.Well, be with your family is a nice option.
Stay safe, stay positive and stay with us.
__________________
I am here to help with a ready love...whenever i am online.
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#15
Apr 10, 2008, 01:39 PM
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Yeah, I do have a lot to deal with and I certainly don't need this. I talked with my T today and she said that she saw the co-dependency from day one with him. He has emailed me and told me that right now he needs to deal with his own co-dependency issues and learn how to love himself because he knows he has been allowing me to pay for everything and do everything because he doesn't love himself. (?)
I am trying to stay safe. I promised T that I would not do anything this weekend because I KNEW she would send me to the hospital. I am going to try my hardest not to do anything. I am promising myself that I won't fail. I am soooo staying here with you all because right now I have nothing and no one and I feel so absolutely alone. Nightmares last night and turning over to cuddle and he isn't there....my heart aches. BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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