No suicidal posts.

((((((((((((pegasus))))))))))))))),

I have been where you are......I know exactly what that feeling is. Why should I bother to continue living.....there is nothing here for me. I didn't have my career anymore & my marriage wasn't worth anything & my daughter....oh well she will survive without me probably better that with, since I never had really been there for her anyway. As far as my Mother......didn't care much about that one either. So why bother the only things that I cared about was my horse & my dogs.....& they wouldn't really know the difference anyway. I hurt so bad inside that I just wanted everything to quit.

I tried many times mostly with OD's.......& several times, they didn't know how I survived or why I was even alive. Once I ended up in a coma in the ICU on a breathing machine. I had been in the hospital & they released me. I told them I wasn't ok but they gave me back the pills I came into the hopsital with........they got me down to the ER room & I don't remember a thing after that until I finally came to in ICU with the breathing machine going......they said something about the fact that I had quit breathing & that was all they could do to see if I would make it.

Well, I can tell you that I was that God knew it wasn't my time & he wasn't going to let me be in control that way.....not that it couldn't have ended up my way, but I was definitely not supposed to die at that point in time. Since that time, everything has changed around in my life. I now own my own farm in Kentucky & I am on my own & able to take care of myself. I have never been happier in my life......& then to top that off, I got involved in the community & a bible study that has opened my eyes & my heart to know the reality of God in my life. I was always a Christian in my beliefs, the it wasn't in my heart or in my mind as what has come since I really started to with the bible study & have a wonderful pastor in my new church. That on top of getting involved in the community activities in my small town has shown me exactly the fact that when I wanted to die & tried to die, I had o idea what a wonderful future I had ahead of me.

The other thing I have learned from my bible studies is that when we say we can't change what of who we are.......Nothing is impossible with God.....if we take our issues & the things that need changing to him.....that is really where our help lies to make those huge changes that really make a difference in our lives. My changes started before that point but everyone as different experiences.....all I know is that you don't know the wonderful things your future holds for you anymore than I knew......but if we don't give it a chance, we never do get to experience the wonderful life God really has for us.

Debbie

(((((((((((((Pegasus)))))))))))))))

There IS hope! Read my post "Hey, y'all!" I'm not kidding you. I'm experiencing the craziest sense of relief from my chronic depression! OMG! It is amazing! I know exactly how you feel. I've been there before, teetering on the edge and all. I just plain held on, even if I lived in my bed (My hubby cooked, so I was adequately fed.). Now, with this new treatment that I have, I'm able to feel better.

You HAVE friends here at PsychCentral. It is NOT a lie. We would miss you. You are a good person, Pegasus. I know I haven't been here as much in the last few months because I was at Quitnet.com, which is a wonderful support site for quitting smoking (They do have a Mental Health Issues club forum and Depression forum). No need to be jealous of that site because I love both PsychCentral and Quitnet equally. Anyway, I'm also spending more time IRL to enjoy my life with relief from depression.

Pegasus, please know that you are LOVED by us here.

wickedwings

Thank you all for understanding.

(sigh) I can relate to that feeling of being inside out. Thanks as always for your insightful and thoughtful post mouse. Hopefully others will also benefit from your wisdom as I have done.

Pegasus, you are loved here

"Pooh, promise you won't forget about me, ever. Not even when I'm a hundred."
Pooh thought for a little.
"How old shall I be then?"
"Ninety-nine."
Pooh nodded.
"I promise," he said.

I'm sorry but I don't know what feeling inside out means...

I didn't do the post to see how many friends I could get! I have never had friends and don't need any anyhow, that wasn't the point of the post.

The point of the post was me saying I'm at the end of my tether and it's strangling me! Nothing is as nothing does..... and so it goes round and round the neverending feeling of nothingness.

Peg! Good to see ya. I'm sorry your feeling this way. I've
experienced being at the end of my rope at times too.

I hope you feel better, Hang in there.

I'm hanging!

Thanks.