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#1
May 11, 2008, 08:02 PM
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I got my report card yesterday and am still shocked. I got A's B's a C and two D's. I never get C's or D's yet haven't been at school for a while because it's to stressful. If I had to go to that school for five days a week I'd (TRIGGER!!!!!!) kill myself. No joke.
No one besides my friends and family understand that it's hard. But does it have to be this hard? It's depression for Christ's sake! It's not bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, it's f'ing depression! WHY IS IT THIS HARD?! I felt like dying yesterday after the news and am now not thinking about it because I have a lot of work to do for school. I hate most of my life and myself. Why can't I be smarter? More successful? Why? I think about these things everyday and it tears me apart! Well, that's what is going through my head now. I guess I really do suck...
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I'm the Crazy Cub of the Bipolar Bear. 60 mg. Geodon 3 mg. Invega 30 mg. Prozac |
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#2
May 12, 2008, 12:41 AM
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No You don't suck!!!! School is hard and so is life. When I went to school most of my grades were low, but my parents said do your best. Doing your best is all you can do, and try not to stress out about school, these days can be fun at times with youf friends and other classmates, who may also feel the same way you do. I found many people feel the sameway, but just afraid to say it out loud.
Treasure these days, find some kind of sport, or walk or ride a bike to lesson the stress, and think positive about yourself, grades don't always show the real you and how really smart you are.
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Today I am going to spend more time looking for all the positive things about myself. Today I recongnize myself and acknowledge myself as a terrific human being. by of: Time for Joy by Ruth Fishel Cindy 
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#3
May 12, 2008, 10:54 AM
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(((((((Psychotic_Phil)))))))
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#4
May 12, 2008, 10:14 PM
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(((PsyP)))
yes, focus on school .. maybe you will be a counsellor one day, helping others. i don't know, but at least you have educational opportunities, that makes your life 'no so sucky', yes? peace nightbird
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I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness. - Walt Whitman |
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#5
May 12, 2008, 10:59 PM
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I actually considered becoming a counselor once. It's not me. What kind of anarchistic depressed ponytail wearing Harry Potter looking writing junkie mathematics failure is a counselor?! (Joke.)
Seriously I do agree with that description. I'm getting things sorted out in school being the 'dog' I am. That's actually my new nickname; dog/canine/mutt, because I have sufficient facial hair to look like one! Seriously, I think it's good I can take this lightly considering I was ready to die on Saturday. Maybe I'll be OK. MAYBE... (Tip: when feeling depressed and down on yourself, listen to "We are the Champions" by Queen. It really helps!)
__________________
I'm the Crazy Cub of the Bipolar Bear. 60 mg. Geodon 3 mg. Invega 30 mg. Prozac |
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