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#1
May 25, 2008, 05:04 PM
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i have so much going on atm that i cant even rememebr some of it. i jsut cant take this anymore. mom forces me to socialze and all i do is sit in teh corner and then run to my room when she isnt looking. tehn she gets mad at me for not socializing. i called my t a few minutes ago bcuz i was lonely and wanted someone to talk to. i told her about dad coming home drunk. she says i should try to invite friends over or do things with them- theres just one problem, i dont have any real life friends- i mean i KNOW people, but we are just aquaintinces(sp), they arent really my friends bcuz i never see them. for example, my one "friend" asked me to go to florida with her this summer for 10 days. so i said yes to just get away from teh house. i dont really know her and she said to me"dont have a meltdown on me when were on vacation ok?" and i was like"erm ok ill try" but on another note we have to FLY to florida. two things. ONE i havent been in a plane since 9/11 and TWO i dont fly! i get all panicky and i cant breathe...so there goes the whole"dont have a meltdown on me" thing. and as i am typing i have 30 family members over. i am the black sheep and they treat me that way. On another note, my parents said id better "get well quick" bcuz tehy cant afford my t or my meds much longer as my dad is self employed. i just am having a huge breakdown and idk wat to do anymore. idk if i can go on much longer. im sorry to be such a whiner. everything has just hit me like a wall.
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Sometimes my words don't make sense, or have anything to do with anything. but i try. try to make them work. 
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#2
May 25, 2008, 05:51 PM
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Hi rissie not much i think,other than "hang loose" if ya can....?? most important thing to remember is to "validate your position" , put YOUR SELF ,in the context of it all, u seem to be intelligent in your self knowledge , ....keep using it and this forum, u are struggling with hard stuff, u seem a determined and energetic soul, and do not allow others to swallow you up, either in their indifference or ther own anger/frustration /power stuff! hoping ,, alevin McEdinburgh!
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I ought to be playing piano again I ought to be doing this and doing that I ought to just be, and to be just music doesnt exist until somebody listens to it! |
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#3
May 25, 2008, 06:07 PM
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(((((((((RIZZIE)))))))))) Is there any way you can talk to your T about your anxiety regarding flying and also about what your parents are saying to you about getting better and not having enough money to pay for T? I really don't think it would be a good idea if they stopped paying for you! People can't just "got over it" or "get better" just because someone wants the to.
I hope there is some resolution. I am so sorry you are having to go through all of this. I know about being the black sheep of the family, too. It sucks!!! BJ
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"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#4
May 25, 2008, 06:50 PM
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ty guys(((((bj, alevin)))))))))
__________________
Sometimes my words don't make sense, or have anything to do with anything. but i try. try to make them work.
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#5
May 25, 2008, 08:12 PM
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sometimes ive felt stuck in a place and knowing that i didnt want to be there, knowing there was someplace better, made it really hard to stay... at other times, not saying this applies to you, it seemed i was kept in a place longer than i wanted to be because there was still someting essential i needed to learn in that place, maybe it was how to hold my breathe longer and nourish my own inner strength a little bit more..
i hope you can persevere as long as you need to rissie.. you have us here to vent to and i know venting really helps 
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#6
May 25, 2008, 08:14 PM
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Ok, so you use a different word than "friends" than T and others do. You say you don't have any IRL friends because you don't get to see them, and then say you aren't going to invite them over because you don't have any?
 Why not invite some of those acquaintances over... at least you won't be lonely, and you might find some kewl things to talk about! 
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#7
May 25, 2008, 11:24 PM
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((((((((((((((((( Rissie )))))))))))))))))))))))
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 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#8
May 26, 2008, 01:05 AM
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dear Rissie,
sorry to hear of your difficulties, but here's one more person to empathise with you. Keep your chin up, as they say. |
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#9
May 26, 2008, 08:28 AM
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ok, i dont see them bcuz they all live a pretty good distance from me and all teh aquaintances arent good"true friends" they go and blab watever they can to anyone. and ive told some of tehm about depression and the voices and they think im nuts so tehy dont talk to me. and the one said"dont have a meltdown on me" like i can control that. idk im sorry to burden you guys
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Sometimes my words don't make sense, or have anything to do with anything. but i try. try to make them work.
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#10
May 26, 2008, 09:37 AM
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((((((Rissie))))))
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#11
May 26, 2008, 07:17 PM
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((((((rissie))))))) you know I'm here to talk to.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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