Don't need or want to see people anymore

I had a bad day yesterday. I felt so bad. I just wanted to get away from everyone. In the middle of the day I had the blinds down and I was hiding inside the house. I don't have any desire to be with people anymore. I just couldn't care less if I saw them or not. It's such hard work seeing people and I just can't seem to do anything right anyway. I feel like people only like me when i do things the way that they want them done. Like anything different is wrong. I sort of know that it shouldn't matter but it does. I want to give up some of my responsibilities because I'm sick of being picked on about how I do stuff. I'm just trying my best and I just have different ideas than they do. People bug me sometimes. I just think "get away from me" because that will cause me less torment about having to please them all the time. Ah. People. I feel like they suck me dry. Some people would completely take over my time if they could.

But the point of this post was...

I have lost interest in people and everything else that I used to like. Nothing seems to bring me pleasure. Even the things that I once adored are not interesting anymore.

Please hang in there, estee. Things will get better. I know the feeling of not wanting to be around anyone anymore. I get that feeling a lot. I have to force myself to be around other people a lot of the time.

Yes, you're so correct. I have to force myself to do everything. It's absolute torture. Everything I have to do feels like it's killing me. It's like being on death row everyday. (Not that I know what that would be like.) I suppose some of it is such a terrible fear of punishment that i live with alot of the time. no matter how much i tell myself that I'm not going to be punished it doesn't make a difference. Glad i'm not the only one but sorry that you endure this torment as well.

((((((((Estee)))))))))))))
Oh no, you're not DIFFERENT are you? God forbid! If you should think on your own terms and see things from another perspective then you're a weird person. (I'm not really putting you down-it's sacasm, just so there are no misunderstandings. )
Humans are very insecure. Somehow you're doing something different makes others think you are rejecting their ideas so they have to make your idea wrong to make their ideas seem right. I'm always going against the grain. I just do. I always have.
I hate cookie cut outs. I like hand crafted ones with individuality. You probably are one of the hand crafted individuals whom the cookie cut outs just don't get.
I understand.
Embrace your "weirdness" and feel sorry for those who can't think outside the box.
There are a lot of other hand crafted cookie people out there, you'll have to find another and hook up.
It's what I'm working on, too.

"Different" is the only way to be. It's the only way to really live an authentic life. Everyone else is just playing a role to get by.

{{{Estee}}}

>>I have lost interest in people and everything else that I used to like. Nothing seems to bring me pleasure. Even the things that I once adored are not interesting anymore.

I feel like that often, right now in fact, literally the same way. I fight hard to remain in contact with people because I know it is bad to isolate myself. It is one of the worst symptoms of depression, and as such, you should realize that it is a symptom of an illness, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. If you can fight to get past the depression, those feelings of wanting to isolate should subside.

In the meantime just remember that we are here and we understand, and you never have to isolate yourself from your friends here, because we understand, we share, and we are "safe" from misunderstanding you or judging you. As others have said, being "different" is good, is better, is the only way to be. It is likely the depression that makes you think otherwise, depression distorts our feelings and thoughts... so please trust us when we say we like you just the way you are.

Estee1.....Please know that once in a while we all have the need to shut the world out. Sometimes we just need to reconnect with ourselves.
I hope that you are staying safe.
I am sorry things are seeming so bleak. I understand the wantings to shut people out. I do it so that no one can hurt me anymore!

Dont do that to yourself. I know it is hard and I know you feel like giving up and not having anything to do with others. But there are good people out there that do care. And you came to the right place because we do care. I guess in some ways I feel the same about others who I thought care always putting you down or me down and picking on things you do or want to do or what you have. It is like they are out to get you. So I know how you feel and it hurts and makes you feel like no one cares. I have a family like that and some friends too. It is like you are a bother or buging them. I feel like that too. I know you are trying your best but like someone said to me. You only worry about yourself and please yourself. And if those dont like it that is too bad for them because you are doing it for yourself not for them. I have to do the same thing too. It will be hard but you just hang in there and remember that we are here for you ok.

Thanks. That's real nice of you. I love your fairy picture, I have it for my desktop now. I am understanding now more that thoughts and feelings that have tortured me are part of the illness and it makes me feel better. Like i'm not so bad a person after all. I never wanted the horrible thoughts and feelings.

i am glad you like the picture. LOL. good i am glad you are feeling this way too. i am here if you want to talk ok. you can email too or if you have yahoo messenger. all you need is friends who understand. angel68_eyes@yahoo.ca