[itsjustme111]

You hold my heart and my soul,
You hold my life and my dreams.
You fondle them in your hands,
You toss them around.
Then you drop them,
A million little pieces all over the floor.
You pick them up only to see,
It's not worth placing them back as one.
You drop them again, only to watch,
Them scatter through the depths of despair.
Then you look at me and say,

NO MORE HEART,
NO MORE SOUL,
NO MORE LIFE,

You're left with shattered dreams,
A life which is unknown,
A mind that is the outcast of others,
A body that really is not here,
You're left within yourself,
You are who you are.

This is me, I am what I am.
Nobody to blame,
For shattering my own true self.
The reflection of this girl I once knew.

I am no more.

NO MORE HEART,
NO MORE SOUL,
NO MORE LIFE,

I am left with this girl,
These shattered dreams.
This is what I made of myself,
This is what I created.
This monster within,
This disrupted and demented whirlwind......

This hidious me, this disgusting portait,
This woman, its just me.

Justy

[SS8282]

You're a beautiful person. ((((((((((((((justy)))))))))))))))

[Wants2Fly]

You are not "disjusting" or "hideous," Justy. This is just a nasty disease talking to you. Please don't believe this.

((((((((((((((Justy)))))))))))))

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Justy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} The only hideous thing is the disease. NOT YOU! You're a beautiful person, Hun. Believe it!

[itsjustme111]

Oh dear, I want to so much. Tonight I can't stop the tears anymore. Its feels like I am dying inside. It hurts so much, I want to disappear.

I want to beg for a life. Make this hideous disease no longer exsist for anyone.

Sometimes I think of who I am. I think I am not so bad. But my mind just keeps pounding it in my head what my dad, family, and my ex kept telling me for years. Its like a record that plays over and over. You try to fight it away, and can at times. But then it starts....... make it go away, I can't take this pain inside anymore.

((((((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))))))) thanks for this continued support, I honestly don't know why you guys have not given up out of frustration. I can't imagine how maddening it is to read my crud, this destruction. Please remember, I don't really want this. Maybe I feel like it at times, but I hate this.

So many tears tonight.

Justy

[(JD)]

What you are trying is good... keep telling yourself that you are NOT bad... you will eventually win over the negative garbage your abusive relatives brainwashed you into thinking...

(((((justy)))))) you can do this.

[SS8282]

oh ((((((((justy)))))))))))) I wish I can make the pain to go away. I'm here for you if you need me. Keep trying and hang in there. Big hugs.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((((justy))))))))))))))))))))

[Wants2Fly]

((((((((((Justy))))))))))

We don't give up because we know your pain. We have been there. It is awful. Please keep talking back to your disease. We will help you to talk back to it. If you need to cry, cry. Tears can wash away the pain. (At least, that's what the religious group I belong to now says, about washing away "pictures" of the past.) My T says to let myself cry, too. You have endured emotional brutality. Why not cry? And cry and cry.

(((((((((((((((((((Justy)))))))))))))))))