[brokengirl]

not sure where this belongs but i just wanted to say that im through with people and there hypocritical, backstabbing ways, i refuse to let my self get sucked in to any more of it, from know on the only people i love and trust are my familywhich consists chuldren, parents and one other person. i dont expect any replys to this i dont expect anything, im just really angry mostly at my self for trusting people and i needed to vent, im sorry for bothering anyone who may for some reason read this. from now on im just gonna be the mom and the daughter and whatever it is i am with this other person, but mainly and always i will be the mom, that is why i was born and that is what i live for my baby is the world the air the love and the trust in my life, i will raise them and they will grow up and have wonderful lives and one day when im 90 and my grand kids are playing in the yard i will sit back and think i did that i experenced that and loved everyminute of it. that will be a great day looking back at my childrens life and watching them grow up and have familys of there own and watching them grow up. my family is my world, i love them so much. sorry for the rambling probably didnt make any sense sorry for that, but i need to talk.

[CedarS]

[DOWNINNATICK]

Hi Brokengirl;

You are not bothering us, come vent as much as you want!

I know exactly how you feel, you trust people and they turn around and talk about you behind your back, or they are stabbing you in the back but to your face they are sweet. But think, if you pull away from the world, your kids will too and they may have problems as they get older trusting and feeling safe in this world. We have to learn to venture out into the world, but learn not to let our guards down, but no show anger or hatred, we can't have to worlds childred continue the evil that others have started.

So come vent, scream and talk and someone will listen.

Hugs!

[brokengirl]

that makes a lot of sense, but how do i not let anyone in and yet not damage my kids, i want them to have a healthy relationships in life i dont want them to be jaded like me so how do i do it how do i not get hurt anymore and yet still let my children experence? thank you again for saying that i needed to hear that. thank you.

[turquoisesea]

trusting people opens yourself up to getting hurt. But there's a reason we do it... I dunno :/
Don't draw away completely... at least for me the farther I got from other people the more problems keep coming.

I agree with Downinnatick, you don't need to let your guard down completely but that it's important to be a part of the world for your child. I can't even pretend to know anything about being a mother - I can barely take care of myself - but I DO know that my mom kept me away from others in a wierd way. I don't think she did it on purpose. But the end result was, in part, and I dont think it was all her fault but that she just contributed, is that I don't know how to get out. I'm lonely, I dont know how to relate. I can't trust. And when I started opening up I started having a really hard time so... maybe think about it some. Try to get out just for some more companionship and for your child.

Sorry if THIS post is out of place. I hope you can figure thinks out... I hate it when you trust someone and they let you down... that's happened to me a lot latey.

*hugs* and good luck

[turquoisesea]

sorry didnt see your last post before I put in my last reply.

I'm not sure wha tyou should do for that. I'm still figuring a lot of this out, but one thing is you could go into the world with people but just not let your guard down all the way. Bottled up emotion isn't good though, so I dunno

Thing is you can still be a part of the outside world other than your family, while not risking quite as much at least not yet?

Just... dont wait too long because the longer you go between times when you hide away... the harder it is to get back. At least for me

[brokengirl]

i completely understand what your saying and i agree thank you everyone for helping me to see what i could have done wrong as far as that is concerned, im still trying to figure this out but im not gonna completely cut my self off from the world, i do not want to hut my baby that way i dont want him to grow up with distrust or hate in his heart, thank you all again you all been a great help thank you

[DOWNINNATICK]

I really can't tell you how to stop the cycle, I don't have kids myself, but as a kid I was so isolated from the world because I was a sickly kid, that I don't know how to deal with lifes crap. Like you I have to try to trust, and speak up when people do something that has hurt us, or confront the ones talking crap about us. I know it's easier said than done, but this maybe something your counselor can help you with.

[nowheretorun]

(((brokengirl)))))) great posts in this thread, thank you all..

[nightbird]

hi brokengirl,

I'm sorry you were hurt.

It happens all thru life. It's unavoidable.

All we can do is chose how we are going to respond to it.

Sometimes, we have to make these hurts work for us, whether as reality lessons, learning experiences, or allowing our emotions to remain alive.

When our children see us respond to a life difficulty by making our own existence better, they will take that on in their lives.

Some people are to be avoided.

People on the whole - cannot be - because we need each other to survive this life, help each other, and befriend others like ourselves for warmth and comfort, companionship and laughter... all necessary in my book.

Keep talking. You will meet the right people for friendship as you go along your merry way in this life, as well as other people for various reasons, many for good reasons and to do services in times of need.

We cannot be afraid.

Wishing you peace, joy and friendships worthy of your trust,
night

xoxoxoxoxoxo