Work issues / and solutions

I am sorry if this is not in the correct forum but I wasn't sure where to put it.

I had my performance review at work today and while it was not a disaster my boss thinks I am not always coping so well at work.

My work is of a really high standard and that is acknowledged / reflected in my review. My client relationships, etc, are good and I have had some impressive feedback. SO it's not my 'performance' per se. I also do quite a bit of 'good' stuff around social committee organisation, etc.

However I have been a bit 'flappy' lately - sometimes I have pushed out my deadlines more than I should (only by a day or two). I have been to several other cities for work purposes in the last few weeks. I was asked to take on a project at the last minute and turn it around really fast. I did but took the two days extra (over my weekend) to finish it off.

I feel like everything has been a bit much and the whole depression thing is kinda why sometimes my head is not in the best space and I maybe do forget small things / get a bit behind at times - sometimes I work a LOT better than other times so I sort of have to work as hard as I can when I can. I have days I can't really get out of bed but (while I do not have manic / hypomanic episodes) there are days when things flow very well and I feel like what I am producing is very good.

Sooo ... my boss's solution is sessions with a 'coach'. Sort of life coachy I think - working with finding ways to cope with stress and improve organisation etc (but is not a counselor per se).

Work would pay - the sessions are around $200 each and my boss has suggested going half a dozen times and then a few follow up ones. She said it is an investment by the company in me as she / Human Resources etc feel that it is worth it and will also help prepare me for my next promotion etc, and her term is that I am a 'star' and need to maximise that - but she feels some little things are standing in my way. She also said she feels I sometimes lack confidence in my work even though I should not at all be worried about it. I guess that is true - I have been quite anxious about presentations lately and I never used to be.

HERE is my problem: I know that my slightly irregular work patterns, etc, are probably all due to stupid depression.

I do not want to let on that this is more likely to be the issue and leads me to have some scrambled days.

I don't want work to waste the $$ on this sort of thing when I know what the problem is.

I also don't want to appear that I am not being proactive about the situation.

My boss really tried to normalise it for me - our HR Executive Director goes to this woman who is being recommended, herself. Our division's Executive Director goes to a similar sort of person. It is more about professional development I guess ...

I don't really know what to do. Should I just sort of give in and do it to seem like I am wanting to get ahead as best I can? Or do I work even more and make sure even when I am having bad times I still double and triple check that everything is OK, and use that as evidence I don't need to do this thing?

I'm so confused and sorry for such a long post. It isn't really anything I can run by real life friends.

thank you.

I'm in sort of the same situation. My immediate supervisor knows a LITTLE about my mental health stuff, but not very much, and he's not usually very accommodating. The big boss, unaware that it is an accomplishment for me just to get out of bed on my bad days, just recently told me I wasn't living up to his expectations (well, what he said was "I don't consider your hiring a total loss YET, but...."). That was enough to push me over the edge. Friday is my last day before a leave of absence to deal with the horrendous depression and figure out where to go from here.

My job has offered me NO help, no accommodations (as they are required to by law), so I would say if yours is willing to do so AND pay for it, to jump at it. It's not costing you anything and you might learn some things that can help in the future. If you aren't already working with a therapist for the depression, you can do that on your own and nobody needs to know.

Good luck. I hope this all turns out well for you.

Candy

((((((((((((( phloss ))))))))))))))))))
I am sorry that you are having a hard time, in that situation I think I would go to the coach person, it might be helpful.

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candybear said:
I'm in sort of the same situation. My immediate supervisor knows a LITTLE about my mental health stuff, but not very much, and he's not usually very accommodating. The big boss, unaware that it is an accomplishment for me just to get out of bed on my bad days, just recently told me I wasn't living up to his expectations (well, what he said was "I don't consider your hiring a total loss YET, but...."). That was enough to push me over the edge. Friday is my last day before a leave of absence to deal with the horrendous depression and figure out where to go from here.

My job has offered me NO help, no accommodations (as they are required to by law), so I would say if yours is willing to do so AND pay for it, to jump at it. It's not costing you anything and you might learn some things that can help in the future. If you aren't already working with a therapist for the depression, you can do that on your own and nobody needs to know.

Good luck. I hope this all turns out well for you.

Candy

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Hey,

thanks for your post (and thank you Gimme also).

Candy I find what your boss said quite despicable.

I just feel embarrased that ... I still failed to hide it properly ... it is only little ways and isn't affecting my work per se ... but getting up and 'putting myself together' in the morning is ****************** hard much as you say.

I don't want to say I have depression but I also don't want to be seen as 'scrambled' either ... due to ANYTHING.

Hope your situ gets better

hey...

i think that while putting a name ('depression') to it is one thing... it doesn't really help with sorting it out. it might be the case that you have an opportunity here to see if you can figure out how come you feel depressed at times and to figure out why you struggle a little with anxiety, procrastination etc at times. it might be that the sessions are really helpful for you.

the therapist i see... well... lets just say that i was told that i functioned 'too highly' for the public mental health service... and i guess i function pretty highly generally (as do you). but... i'm far from optimal. i mean... my supervisors etc are fairly happy with me (though they would say that i stress a bit too much and procrastinate a little much at times). but they are happy enough... but seeing a therapist really helps me with respect to trying to figure out what is holding me back from getting more of what i want to do done. it could be a nice opportunity. and... even nicer that they are prepared to invest in it :-)

can you give it a shot?

thank you so much for that reply.

it is not a 'therapist' per se I guess ... but maybe it would help to get some more organisation into my life?

i wouldn't have to disclose the depression thing - would i?

There are some 'organizational therapists' who basically are therapists, but they deal with professional people in business / organization settings to try and help people maximize their outputs / performance. A good one... Could be really very helpful indeed :-)

You know... There really isn't a great deal of shame about going to see someone like this. In fact... Therapy is often thought of as a thing that only basically healthy / well people can do (psychoanalysis is thought to be unsuitable for all but the most highly functional) and a lot of people consider it a relative 'luxury' that is expensive and (sometimes) a little time consuming. It really is great that they are prepared to invest the time and money so that you can do it.

I would say that disclosing the depression thing is something that should be completely up to you. The first thing I would check with this person is the extent of the notes they keep and who has access to them. It might be that your employers want some kind of progress notes, you see, and I (if I was in your situation) would want to know what kinds of things the person you see would be putting down on that so I would know whether I felt okay about disclosing the depression thing or not.

It is perfectly possible to talk openly and honestly about how you feel at times without mentioning the magical label 'depression'. The label doesn't really add anything to the explanation of the symptoms anyway (it merely redescribes them).

Who knows what this person may be like... But it is possible that it is helpful to you. Not just with respect to work, but maybe with respect to other aspects of your life in terms of enhancing your functioning and helping you feel happier healthier and more productive.

Just like how athletes often have access to people who teach them strategies for motivation (including sleeping and relaxation and how to stimulate themselves into getting those endorphins flowing) exec. peops. often have access to people who teach them strategies for motivation and maximization of performance. Par for the course, really... And terrific that they are willing to fund it (many people in similar positions don't get access to that - depends on the company)

i hope you are right cos ... it would be nice if you are.

I guess i have to do it or they will be poo

the other thing could be being perfect for a month ... if i am not i will do it ....

why do things have to be hard?

i am not taking any meds or seeing a therapist ...

wanted to manage on my own.

hi
you are not wasting the company's money if you go to a life coach. don't be scared to learn new coping and organizational strategies you can actually use when you are depressed to be more productive. your boss she cares about your productivity. it is good your company is willing to invest in you instead of dumping you. it is good that you are being groomed for a better position.
try to be optimistic about this instead of self-conscious. yeah, i know, easier said than done. and i have no business telling you what to believe.
But i believe a pro-active approach addressing the symptoms cannot be underestimated in value until you try it.
I use an organizational method called GTD or getting things done. there's loads of inexpensive software out there to support it. feel free to private message me about it if you want to.
pi