[porcupine]

I've been dealing with chronic back pain and depression for most of my adult life and i'm very, very frustrated. I'm absolutely in the worst hole of my life and I can't seem to get any help. I have no friends, zero, none. I haven't made a friend, somebody I could just call and go for a hike with or invite over to dinner in 15 years. My family, mom, sisters, pretty much couldn't be bothered with me despite the fact that my brother committed suicide two years ago and they made a huge fuss over him. It's like he was worth more dead than I am alive.

Several months after my brother checked out my back flared up and I had to take time off work. While I was off the business I was working for collapsed and closed it's doors. The doctor I was seeing for the pain refused to treat my depression because he was getting paid by workman's comp and it was a hassle for him. Never mind chronic pain causes depression and it's well documented.

The doctor I saw after that talked to me for ten minutes before handing me a scrip for cymbalta and showing me the door. He refused to do an evaluation for my state disability insurance or refer me.

I went to a Chiropractor after that that suggested that I quit eating wheat which helped my back pain but did nothing for the fatigue. She still wanted me to come in weekly even though her treatments didn't' seem to help.

The doc after that decided my testosterone was low and had me injecting my leg weekly and was giving me the worlds most expensive vitamins but was totally unperturbed when I said I wasn't improving. I found out that he gave ALL of his patients testosterone

The doc after that was a naturopath that gave me more expensive herbs and was also totally nonplussed when I said it wasn't working. She got paid though that she made sure of.

Now I'm seeing an acupuncturist. Same result.

I've had it with the rent seeking bastards. I want a treatment where I will know in a week wether i'm going to see an effect or not and i'm freaking tired of paying their outrageous bills.

I've tried about nine SSRI's, I've told my life story to therapits, i've had ECT and none of it works. The worst thing is that none of them are the least bit curious about why the treatments they prescribe don't work. Hey, they got paid didn't they?

I pretty much hate my life, hatemylife, hatemylife, and the only solution anybody can offer me is another wait in a doctors office to see another rent-seeking quack. That is supposing i have the cash to pay the pedigreed idiot.

Could somebody please explain to me why this is?

[skeeweeaka]

Hello Porcupine....I, too, feel your pain. I've sat in dr's office after dr's office and nothing has helped me either... My T and I recently discussed ECT but I am totally afraid I will lose what is left of my memory and I can't possibly do that to my dd....

The bottom line is that doctors today treat the symptoms....not the full patient....well most of them do....and it is extremely difficult to find a doctor who is not burned out and just pushing pills... And if you have a chronic condition, it is even worse because they don't want to have to be the one to fill out any forms and such....that is just too much more work for them... They would rather see the people who are just dealing with life's crisses....it is much simpler for them.... The bottom line is that it is about money...and if you dont have it you won't get treated.... It takes seeing many, many doctors before we can unfortunatley find the right one.

My pdoc is awful but I keep seeing her because I've been through too many and it took me six months to find her after my other pdoc quit taking my insurance. My tdoc's have both been wonderful...but fighting bipolar for me has been a lose lose situation.

I hope that you can find a kinder, gentler doctor and meds that work for you. I am medication resistant and this is difficult... Most of my friends are no longer calling and when I do call them they aren't very interested in what I have to say....they think I have given up so they have given up on me....sad but true!

TJ

[porcupine]

You might investigate if there is somebody who does transcranial magnetic stimulation in your region. This is reported to be much milder than ECT while essentially triggering the same region of the brain. Last I checked it wasn't available in California or even on the West Coast.

Also be very sure that you are getting sufficient essential fatty acids from fish oils or grass fed meats. It's very important that the fish or meat only eat wild plants rather than being caged or grain fed. I find lamb fat and sushi helps but not those pills you buy at the store.

I can't help think that the 'modern life' is killing lots of us but there's no way off the bus for most.

Keep researching and keep trying even if hope isn't available.