[misse]

hey,
right now I just feel like I'm at my wits end, seems like I have just had difficulty after disaster lately... My boss told me on Friday that my contract won't be renewed, so I've got two weeks til I'm unemployed again. I've only been in this one for six months (before that a 3 month, before that a 5 month, and unemployed in between) and so I am really fed up of the uncertainty and instability of my life.

I'm an expatriate, so finding jobs here is not easy, and when I heard about this I was so tempted just to forget it and go home. But that isn't exactly a guarantee of happiness either, that's why I left it in the first place! II love living abroad and I am reluctant to give up the benefits. But then again I'm stressed out because the work is busy and challenging, and I am supposed to be moving into a more expensive apartment two days after my contract ends (a decision I made when I thought I was being renewed...) its holidays soon and everyone is expecting me to go somewhere exciting on vacation, but I just want to crawl under the covers and wait for it to all go away!

I'm confused and fed up and I feel like I dont even have anyone to talk to, but I have so many big decisions to make and really no idea what I want or how to work things out. I'm worried that if I don't get myself organised I'll get depressed again, but I don't have the energy to do anything difficult because I just feel like an emotional mess, but then again when I tried before I couldnt find a good therapist at all, and I gave up in the end... Anyway not sure really what I wanted to say with this, just to have a rant! Maybe someone out there has some bright ideas how I can fix up my messed-up life?
thanks for listening anyway....