[Having2LeftFeet]

This is my first post on this site and I can see that there are a lot of topics which I find helpful. Soem people like myself have more than one "monkey on their back". Right now, the worse thing I am dealing with is breaking my almost 90 days of controling anger. My husband was so intoxicated last night that he didn't hear me come home from shopping, I yelled, screamed and went so far as to toss a big can down the spiral steps and then yell. Still, no answer. Then I got concerned. I went down to the office and he was dead out cold and I could swear he was dead. I slammed my hand on the desk and finally he came to. He didn't know what time, day, date or anything. He has been on a downward spiral and cannot help but bottom out soon. I fear he may die of alcohol abuse. He has no rhyme or reason why he drinks at least he is not telling me. He drinks a quart a night and worse on the weekend. He is beyone help from me. This has been going on for years and years. We used to fight every night until I tried to slash his throat when he scared the dogs so much so that they both hid under the bed shaking. I snapped but thank God self control get the better of me. I went into the hospital for 5 days. I have not been outwardly angry since. I have learned to channel my anger from negative into positive. After all, it takes much more energy to fight than it does to walk away. I got angry last night. The dogs had to go out, they haden't been fed and the cost of alcohol is about $60 a week. C'mon, when will he get it. If a person is out to destroy their life, they should not involve others, especially the one's that love him. I handed him a knife last night and told him to slit his wrist and get it over with. He is dying a slow death and causing me to die one too. I am at a loss for words. I have to "close my eyes" to the things he does. When he is "tanked", he is obnoxious. Not mean, obnoxious. In other words, he is a PIMA. I have a serious illness and deal with it every day and try not to get him upset of even think about it and that is hard. I just don't know what to do. Unless he hits bottom, he may not come up. Any and all suggesstions will be greatly appreciated.

AnAngel <font color="brown"> </font>

[(JD)]

welcome anangel2guideme sorry you are having such trouble. Are you maybe also angry that you haven't decided what to do with this relationship? Just a thought. hang in there anger needs to be funnelled into action GOOD action... not against ourselves or others...

[Having2LeftFeet]

Thank you for your reply. It makes me feel like "Where there's life, there's hope". TY

[silver_queen]

Hi AnAngel2GuideMe, welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry you're having such trouble at home. Is your husband aware that he has a drinking problem? Is he is, maybe he could look into joining something like Alcoholics Anonymous.

Perhaps for yourself you may want to consider anger management classes, to help you learn to control your anger and channel it in a non-destructive manner.

Hope this helps some.

[Wants2Fly]

Hello Angel -- Welcome to the forums. This is a good place to vent -- to get some perspectives additional to your own.

I am sorry that you are experiencing these problems. Have you tried al-anon? In the end, the only person's behaviors we can change are our own. The alcoholic has to reach that bottom place where he or she wants to change (I have been in recovery for 16 years) -- no one can "make" him. Even if a judge or treatment facility "makes" the person give up drink, the cure is unlikely to be permanent until the drinker wants to be free of booze.

Al-anon can help you to deal more effectively with your feelings about the situation and to find comfort with others who understad what you are going through.

I hope you will give up passing knives or other weapons around in a situation where both his and your emotions are volatile. This sounds dangerous to a wimp like me.

Keep us posted on how things are going. Hope things get better soon.

[MontanaKimberly]

I think you just described my boyfriend to a T. It is so hard watching someone you love throw everything away. We have a 7 month old baby boy. Unfortunately, "Daddy" spends about $50 a night at the bar (we can't even pay our rent this month), and we are lucky if we get to see him before the bar closes. I have tried several times to leave him, but just am not ready to give up on him when I know he could be so much more... My problem not his... Anyhow, I feel for you and wish you the best of luck. Maybe you and I should go to Al-Anon together.