[purplebutterfly]

Yeah Im responsible for it all- now I feel like I just need to shut up and go hide. I hate myself and everything I am or not.

[nowheretorun]

(((purple))) how long have you felt this way? what will it take to convince you that you matter? how can we help you?

[purplebutterfly]

[nowheretorun]

(((purple))) none of us wants you to feel badly and we know that you are hurting very much right now... dont give up hope... the words will come in time... feel at peace and safe as best you are able... praying for you to feel better and that you will be treated with kindness and consideration as you continue to work thru this process...

not to be mean, but would it help to get outdoors a little? breathe some fresh air, clear your mind some.. are you able to get outside?

[purplebutterfly]

It's taking everything inside of me to be at my desk, and soon I will heading out the door to see my T, Im forcing myself to do that. Get in the car, drive, sit, listen, talk, cry, cry, get back in car, drive, eat- seems like a lot that i have to do.

[nowheretorun]

one simple small task can seem like a lot at times... somedays doing laundry is a huge monumental task, but if i dont do it, i have nothing to wear.. your emotional health is kinda similar.. one day there will be nothing there if you dont help yourself now...

[purplebutterfly]

Well im off to see T

[Fuzzybear]

Could it be that the abusers want/wanted us to feel that way?
I don't know your situation but I believe that is so for many.

[nowheretorun]

good for you (((purple)))) hoping the best for you... it really is hard at times... good for you for doing whats needed even though it is obviously very hard for you.. please let us know how it goes?

[DOWNINNATICK]

Please don't hide and keep posting and seeking help, you are not to blame for anything, it's just the depression that is making you feel that way and that you want to hide, but don't come out, sit have a cup of coffee/tea and talk with us, we will listen. Have a good session with you T today, and tell him/her what you are truly feeling and that you need more help.

[nowheretorun]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Fuzzybear said:
Could it be that the abusers want/wanted us to feel that way?
I don't know your situation but I believe that is so for many.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

abusers have a lack of concsience i believe.. they put thier personal needs before the needs of others.. they are often insecure and the victims of abuse themselves.. they have extreme difficuty with empathy since empathy would cause them to change thier unhealthy habits.. many are aware of thier non health but appear (or choose) to be powerless to change it.. they often use others to gain for themselves... the lack of conscious consideration for others is evident in the bullying tactics which they employ... if involved in abuse, distance yourself as quickly as possible.. unless you are very strong, do not attempt to heal the abuser yourself.... first take care of your own health and you will be better able to help others at that point in time..

sending love and caring thoughts...

[nowheretorun]

abusers often display anger

[Sannah]

Hi Purple, how did your appt go? I don't think that you are responsible for how you go to where you are. We develop as children and our parents are responsible for our environment then. Once we are adults, however, we do have to take responsibility in order to heal. I don't think that you have to shut up and go away, though! As we take the road of healing we certainly can and do make mistakes. Mistakes are okay. Everyone makes them.

[Angel_of_the_Past]

(((((purplebutterfly)))))
We cannot take responsibility for the past if it was out of our control. What we can take responsibility for is our future. That is our responsibility. We need to make choices to improve the quality of our lives even if it's only small. Our therapist can help us see what windows of opportunity we have and help us see what choices we have.
Hugs,
Angel