[turquoisesea]

I'm really upset and frustrated right now. This summer has been really hard on me because I have no friends in my home area. I was unable to get a job. I've had nothing to do and no one to hang out with. My boyfriend is states away. And I got really down. The only one who I've been talking to is my boyfriend and now that's going crazy.

I've been really bothered by the fact that he's had sex with his ex, and he's still friends with her. She is in his town this week. And I started freaking out to an extreme when he went over the other night... how that happened is a long story but to bring it short now I've been forced to tell him he had to leave. Which makes me feel like I'm a horrible person. He says she's not worth it now... after hours and hours of talking on the phone and that he'll avoid talking to her but I feel horrible.

I feel like i have nothing to give the relationship. I've fallen apart in almost all ways this summer. I'm an empty husk with nothing left in it. Even his ex... despite some things that both me and him dont like about her is imaginitive.. fun to be with. And i just feel like this big fat blob that just causes everyone trouble.

just don't know what to do anymore -.- I dont even want anything. Not to do anything. I just want everything to stop. everyone to go away. and me to just stop being. I don't even have anything I like to do anymore

[DOWNINNATICK]

Hi Turquoisesea;
So sorry that you feel the way you do, but you are worth a million and have a lot to give. I think I would feel the same way as you do, no I know I would feel the same way you do, my husband has been married before and had a friend he had relations with, and if he was friends with them now, I know I would have trust issues, so I don't think your a horrible person. My counselor suggested that maybe I could do volunteer work if I couldn't find a job to help, maybe that is something you could do, to make you feel better.

Hope you feel better soon and that everything good happens for you.

[nowheretorun]

((turqoisesea)))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
just don't know what to do anymore -.- I dont even want anything. Not to do anything. I just want everything to stop. everyone to go away. and me to just stop being. I don't even have anything I like to do anymore.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

i cant believe you really want everyone to go away or you wouldnt have posted here... i hope you find some kind and caring words to soothe the pain you feel..

it sounds like it's a good time to step back, breathe, let the weights and pressures fall away for an hour or a day or a minute... let the stress and strain leave you and look at your life and situation with the eyes of a caring friend for a minute... what would he or she tell you?

maybe you are boxing yourself into a corner in some way and not giving yourself breathing room ... we all need a safe private place whether it be physical or only in our minds...

when we have that peace within we can then be our own best friend... what is it you really want? how can you get it? does it require change? which is better for your longterm health, changing or staying the same?

wishing you peace and health

[turquoisesea]

thanks both of you... both your responses helped some I think.
It's good to hear from someone who had similar thing with ex's, and nowhere... I'm going to think about what you said... i think that might help

*hugs*
thanks again
and hope everyone's well ^_^

[nowheretorun]

(((turqoise))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( turquoisesea )))))))))))))))