Ups and Downs

sometimes I have those up days, and other times I have those down days.

Today was one of those days.

I Dunno, I just felt so sad, upset, moody for no reason. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone. It was hard, especially since I was at work, where I can't exactly be alone when there's customers bustling about. I tried to spend some time alone in the back room, cleaning, but I couldn't since there was lines forming out front.

I hate how everyone just looks at me, and asks me what's wrong. And I can't honestly answer. How am I supposed to tell them that I'm upset over nothing? I think the OCD is getting worse, since I can't even stand being behind the concession stand when it's messy. I want to clean it. I want it to be spotless. But again, that's hard when you have rushes, and crap just gets everywhere. And you can't just stop and clean. I try to, but I have to go back and attend to irritable, impatient customers.

Maybe I should ask my doctor to up the dosage on my cymbalta, because the dosage I'm on now is becoming less effective.

I'm starting to self-hate again, which turns me into a brooding unapproachable person. I basically demean myself by telling myself what a loser I am. I wish everything would just go away. I want to be happy again.

((((((((((((Dawr)))))))))))))))))

If you think your med dosage needs to be altered, or perhaps you need to try something else, do let your doctor know.

I wish I could say more to help, but all I can say is I hope you take care of yourself. You are important.

Medications solve problems?

Sorry... I think more is needed.

I agree Pachyderm. I don't think meds solve problems, but they can help until therapy can teach you the tools required to help yourself. Are you in therapy Dawr?