[cafegrrrl]

I am soooooo tired of constantly fighting, reminding, and telling myself that it's "just the depression" and having to force myself to do every single little thing.

These meds aren't working. Everyone here says to give them time. The counselor said it's clear they aren't doing anything. She hasn't told me to stop taking them. I still have a week or 2 until I see my doc for a check up. My counselor is setting it up so i can see a shrink but that won't be for another 3 or so weeks.

This is just so exhausting. I force myself to go out and do things. I do'nt want to anymore. I have to force myself to do the things I like doing. And, even that isn't much fun or an escape.

I keep telling myself things will get better...and they don't. Things keep getting worse. Each time I think I can't possibly get any lower, things have to get better, something proves me wrong.

I feel as if i'm walking a thin line between sanity and insanity. And i just want it all to stop.

[kebsfroggy]

Just existing can be so difficult at times. Those things we use to enjoy become mundane. Nothing is as it was and probably won't be ever again.

"Just the depression" drags you down in the worse kind of ways. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion.

You have every right to be tired of it all.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( cafegrrrl )))))))))))))))

[astralsoul]

I could have written your post word for word.... Why do people not understand depression??? Are we still in the dark ages? Is being depressed like being gay.... we have to fight AND start a movement to make ourseleves known AND UNDERSTOOD <font color="blue"> </font> ??

[nightbird]

cafegirl...

along with the meds, it helps to have a therapist, and more than that even, a wholesome lifestyle.

trust me when I say this, I thought I had one, but I did not.

Be a wholesome individual, eat good whole foods, do inspired good work that empowers you-
be independent because if you are not, you are at the mercy of others moods and needs and whims and their own dysfunction - besides your very own - which lays account on your side of the street.
(meaning parents, and people besides those we are committed to for our lives, like spouses and children, who we hope are going in our direction and benefitting)

don't escape the world, embrace it, Dear Person.

you are young ... you have many chances to find your way and get it right!
(your youth allows you time for mistakes also)

live a life that doesn't blame anyone for anything -

be free to be yourself -

live and let live ... learn everything you possibly can ... and you will be amazed at how much happier you will be.

this is the process. making good things happen by visualizing it (thru mapping, and pictures do help) and expecting to reap what we sew - in a sense - holding on to only the things that serve us well, and disregarding the messages and tapes, the past life experiences that do not serve us well at all, but rather detract from us.

and if we are not careful to put certain things away and learn to overcome some negative attitudes - they will keep revisiting us, like bad addictions do to some people.

depression is understood ... there are just many people who will not accept it as a way of life, nor an excuse to not have a life.

hard pill to swallow - but it has truth nonetheless. especially for the less fortunate amongst us that will not or cannot over come this illness. this is true. many will not. for lots of different reasons.

will you be one of them?

i don't think so.

peace and enlightenment,
nightbird

xoxo

[mountainstream]

[kipper55]

I'm not too much for words..but I know how you feel