Trying to come out of the funk.......

Ltr2Hermione · Sep 09, 2008, 10:41 AM

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All the time I hear from my mom and sister, "you've just got to snap out of it." So much so, I avoid THEM now.
No person without these feelings can understand, since we all live in our own shells of reality. I ve stopped trying to explain it to the yawning faces of the listeners, ( why do their watches get so interesting?).
Yeah, we're out here. No one can see us though, cause we're hiding.......

My exhusband tries to get me out of it once in a while. He'll say "take a ride to the store with me.. you can wait in the car if you want". I just kinda jerk my head back like I'm saying "AS IF". I go out. I do. I just don't want to and I'm not working yet.. and I HAVE to and I don't even know where to start. I just screwed my life up soooooooo bad and I have to come out of THIS FUNK!

"Snapping" out of it isn't an option... I'm glad you brought that up. What... do people think I WANT to be like this?

I dragged my sorry butt to the gym this morning and worked out hard for 2.5 hours. I did an hour and a half of cardio... and an hour of hard weights. My trainer puts 30's in my hands for an incline chest press with free weights and I get up, put them on the rack and grab 50's.. like I'm punishing myself. I'm too old to do this and it hurts.. maybe I like pain? Maybe when my body hurts a lot my mind doesn't hurt as much?

(ooh. .. very interesting).

Sannah · Sep 09, 2008, 10:55 AM

Ltr, you didn't screw up your life. Your upbringing affected you and is now making it hard for you to function and you just haven't done the work yet to turn it around. No matter how hard you work out it isn't going to change the thoughts in your head.

Ltr2Hermione · Sep 10, 2008, 06:10 AM

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Originally Posted by Sannah

Ltr, you didn't screw up your life. Your upbringing affected you and is now making it hard for you to function and you just haven't done the work yet to turn it around. No matter how hard you work out it isn't going to change the thoughts in your head.

Hey Sannah...

Sometimes I feel like a shark... like I have to keep moving. When I lay silent I can get VERY down. So sometimes I push so I have to move, move, move, move. Right now I'm painting my house. Not that it needs it or I can really afford all of these supplies......... but it keeps me moving.. keeps me swimming. Working out is part of that.. moving in a different atmosphere. I'm not offering an excuse.. just explaining myself.

I've got T today.. I just hope I don't do the same old thing. "OH.. I'm fine, how are you?" <-- my M.O.

Be Blessed!
L