[silver_moon]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!


this is too hard
I want John back ... I haven't spoken to him since.....?.... monday morning? I think... and I was planning on not talking to him again, how can I? It would kill me... but having him gone out of my life completely is killing me ... ok, so he lied to me... and if he came to see me today and asked to get back together, I don't think I could no matter how much I love him(part of me wishes we could though)... but he was my best friend too... I know a lot of people say that their boyfriends/girlfriends/partners/wives/husbands are there best friend... but John really was to me... we got on like a house on fire, could tell each other anything, we had loads of things in common.... oh god I just miss him this is the hardest thing ever, why has he done this to me
what's wrong with me

I don't want to do this anymore, I CANT do this anymore

[Capp]

Silver, there is nothing wrong with you! It sounds to me like you are grieving and trying to make sense of what happened to you.
Please be kind to yourself...

Cap

[darkrunner]

((((((((((((((silver moon))))))))))))))))

It sounds like you are very overwhelmed with pain...
I am sorry you are going through this.

Don't blame yourself - there is nothing wrong with you.
you can get through this.
with care and concern,
ktgirl

[cantstopcrying]

Ok, let's try this again----I was almost done with my reply and suddenly I got the "blue screen of death". Curious. ANYWAY!....Sweety, you know that there is nothing "wrong" with you that caused this to happen. You cannot control what John does and nothing-NOTHING-you did or said or thought or didn't do made this happen. His actions are his own. He himself made the decision to do what he did. Again, his actions are his own. Under no circumstances am I negating the pain the you are going through, but maybe your pain will lessen a little if you just grieve for the loss instead of adding your self-blame to it. Trust me, I have two divorces and one 9-year relationship that just ended under my belt and I still grapple with the fact that I cannot control their actions, just as they do not make me feel inferior or defective--I, unfortunately, choose to feel like that. Please don't think there is something wrong with you. Grieve for your loss, but don't beat yourself up thinking you could control what happened by some character flaw of yours because that just isn't true.

[nowheretorun]

youre getting some great support and advice here ((molly))))

only you can choose what to do... its really hard to lose a best friend like that.. try not to think in terms of loss tho if you can..

maybe John needs to do some growing and realizing? maybe he needs some time to understand some things...

no doubt this is hard molly.... please focus on what you Know to be in your best interest in the long run... it hurts now, but in a few days, you can begin to feel better about sticking up for you and demanding to be treated kindly...

i know others have said it molly, but you really are worth the best..