There's no place like home

I'm sitting here looking in on my family from outside the window. I should call myself the little match girl instead of pepto. I worked really really hard to create that place and now there's no place there for me. They still assume they can use my **** and my place though. They assume I'll cook and clean and take care of them. clean up the messes and pick up the empty bottles and cig butts. and will remind them to do the things they forget. I'm not a ***** and you cant treat me like one and you cant treat me like a servant.

I dont want any of them in my house but am I allowed to say get out? Nope, not allowed. we must maintain appeareances, we must make sure nobody knows we've been offended because after all, its not about us now is it? i'm not allowed to be *****y or say someone is being rude but god help me if I say something because somebody was *****y at me and its ok to be rude at me. screw them. there's no place for me, my door is closed and my locks are changed

all that ******** about working on trust and love is just that, ********. there is no love, its every man for himself adn get all you can for you because tehre aint nobody else goign to do anything for you or help you out without stabbing you in teh back at the same freaking time

i'm going shopping tonight with my kids and I'm not making them dinner. and I'm changing the locks on my house

having others be rude to us is just as as tasteless to us as when we decide to be the rude side... rude never tastes good at any picnic... i hope you found a few minutes of joy for you in someway... keep trying and you will find a way out of the darkness... dont give up ever

OMG I think you have the right to be a biatch, no one should be treated that way, you have the right to stick up for yourself and expect respect back as well. I'm glad to hear that you have changed the locks and tring to get that bad out of your life, if they don't leave you alone, get the police involved your kids have to be safe as well. If you keep them in your life, your kids will grow up to believe that it's ok to treat people like crap, or they will treat their partners badly. Good for you for taking a step to a better life.

And there are some good men out there that will NOT treat you badly and will worship the ground you walk on. Some will love you and respect you, but men are little boys and some mothers did everything for them so they except their wife to wait on them too.

Take care and may your home become a home sweet home for you.

HUgs
Cindy

Pepto ,
It is so hard to put your all into a place called "home" and it's not appreciated - a place you once thought was yours. It can be yours again. It's hard when those who you thought loved you shred you and put you down with their behaviors and words - leaves you feeling like you fell off the merry-go-round wondering what in the heck just happened. Sometimes there may even be a question of... "what'd I do?" and you didn't do a darn tootin' thing! The behavior of those you observed through the window... don't let yourself get there...to where they are. Sometimes it's best not to even try to figure out the whats and the whys of what other people do because there isn't really an answer.
It's hard when you've got to pretend that it doesn't affect you, that you've got to be this cardboard figure and take all the crap dished out at you and not have one reaction. Sometimes we've grown so accustomed to how we're supposed to "behave" in those situations that we don't even realize all the crap we do put up with until someone on the outside asks you how you put up with it... "put up with what?". Any way, I'm sorry I let this get so long and I really don't know the situation you're in, but parts of it sounded so familiar that it was almost like I was reading something I wrote! All I can say is take care of yourself. You're not responsible for bad choices someone else makes. If they choose to behave like selfish self-centered idiots, then that's what they are BUT it's not who you are. It's hard to watch through the window and knowing that they know better. It's hard when you've wanted to help fix the situation and make it better but it doesn't work that way. Do your best to take care of yourself, to be safe. I'll quit going on and on but do take care of yourself... you can't control the others, but you can do your best to take care of you.
Many 's,
Einna

I hope you fed your children!