I've got to stop posting, I've got to stop letting things hit me this hard!

Today has been hard... it's only 2.30pm
Started off ok enough... I went along to my work prep course (granted I waas anxious and ended up late)... but I came out and had a phone call from my mum saying she wasn't there to pick me up because she was at the doctors again with 'J' (brother) and she had been told to take him to hospital... obviously this started my anxiety up... then I had to hang around 'W' (the city) until I got a call from her telling me which hospital she was going to so I knew what to do. This made anxiety worse... wondering around W on my own (haven't been on my own for this long in while). So as I'm wondering around W I see couples my age... this sets depression off, also seeing groups of people my age together.
I then get phone call from my mum saying she had to take him to the hospital which was in another town so I had to make my own way home... I didn't have a door key! Big big big big anxiety problem at this stage and depression because I wasn't coping well...
My younger brother 'M' was at college, so I phoned him and asked him to meet my so I could take his house keys... I then had to get the bus home, by this time I'm shaking, feel sick, and to make things worse there were no seats free on the bus so I was stood clinging on to the pole for what felt like dear life (I felt like I was gonna pass out), had palpitations and everything so I'm stood on the bus trying to breath and trying my hardest not to cry.
Anyway, now I'm home... first thing I did was give my rabbits HHHHUUUUGGGE cuddles and made a peppermint tea. I'm a little more relaxed now, but still jittery, faint and feeling sick. I'm still on my own.
That's pathetic isn't it... 'normal' people wouldn't panic like that.

Well I'm not too sure about the normal part but I would be a basket case if it had happened to me.

Hope this rainbow will cheer you a bit.

Thank you ((((kebs))))


The rainbow's beautiful

No, you don't have to stop posting! What a terrible experience for you! Is your brother ok? Taking public transportation is nerve-wracking for a lot of people under "normal" circumstances, let alone all the stress you have. I'm there with you on seeing couples--it depresses me, too.

Now that you're a little more relaxed I wonder if you can look at this day from a different view? Instead of focusing on how horrible it was--and it really was--can you see the big steps you took? You made it to your class, you walked around on your own, you heard bad news about your brother and didn't fall apart, though you had panic symptoms on the bus, you didn't break down. All in all--YOU SUCCEEDED!!! You took a bunch of bad situations and you made it through!!

((((((((((((silver moon))))))))))))

l agree with cantstopcrying all thos ewonderful things that you have cahieved today although they were not ideal and very srtessful .........
YOU did it all............well done for all of that and
"norml " what is that then.... you coped remarlably well to very stressful situation..... give yourself a big pat on the back

love and hugs to you ad your brother
mandyxxx

hoping for a speedy recovery!

{{{{{{{{{Silver Moon}}}}}}}}}

I thought you did Terrific!!!! in an especially rough situation!!!

Good for You!!! Plz do not Stop posting

We Love You Silver, You are never Alone!!!!!

Holmes

Thank you all

I feel awful

i agree with posters before me YOU DID WELL UNDER DEEP STRESS.

do you know that feeling awful right now IS the NORMAL response?? lots of tough stuff going on, whole family stressed. you do need to remind yourself that YOU DID FINE EVEN IF IT FELT HORRIBLE.

i'm sorry your brother is sick. i'll pray for him and you all!

don't stop posting if it helps!!! that would be sort of like shooting yourself in the foot. not good. take care of you.