Can't Do This Anymore...

I'm tired...so very tired of struggling with this...tired of trying to cope with the losses in my life and trying to get better... I keep hearing that it will get better and I keep working toward that but it hasn't gotten much better. I'm letting the people down that I love and care about and nothing seems to change. The thought of going into another year in this state is getting to me. I try to make progress but when I take two steps forward...I take two steps back again and it seems futile! I'm dying a slow death and I'm destroying the lives of the people around me in the process, particulary my dd. Every night I just wish not to wake up the next day and I do. What a life this is...

ive felt that way myself lately. like im letting the people around me down. like i cant stop focusing on my hurt. im seeing my friends and my family worry, but afraid to talk to me about things at the same time. i too wanna go to sleep and just not wake up, but i keep getting up, so thats gotta be a sign, we are meant to get through this. there is a light at the end of the tunnel, we are just no seeing it right now. keep talking, and keep posting. it does help to know your not alone.

yeah i know.i've been going thru all this crap for so long and things get worse not better.it's exhausting,and i ask god everyday to take me,trade my life for someone who's dying, whose life has more meaning,who's got ppl who care in it.

This may not be what you need to hear, but it's all I have at the moment, for all of you... hold on, please, hang in there as you will get through this, and one day, look back, relieved you held on tightly when things were so rough on you... okay, please.

You will see. And don't forget to look up once in awhile ... the universe is so vast, so awesome, and you are a part of it!!!

Peace and support,
night

xoxo