[chrise]

I think im as far as i can go, then i fall deeper. I dont know what else to do. Ive been like this for too long. Im trying to keep going and act as if to keep myself busy. I cant stop my head. It keeps going back to the pain and wants an escape. The social worker i was seeing at the clinic just isnt getting it. She wants me to start the partial program on wednesday. Then i cant see her, how is that going to help. We just started to work on things. I dont see myself getting out of this hole anytime soon. I feel very trapped. Very hopeless and no options. I cant go on existing like this. I dont know what else to do.

IVE TRIED WEBSITES ON THE STICKYS, IVE CALLED HOTLINES. WHAT ELSE.

[amybeth369]

I'm in a cold dark place in Pennsylvania too, and I have a lot of pain. I don't think that I'm in a place to give advise but I thought you might like to know that you are not alone. I think you should try the partial program. I did one once. At the time I hated it, but when I look back....it wasn't that bad. I'm sorry I can't help you, but I understand you.

[Cthomas]

chrise,

sorry you are having so many struggles these days. I just saw this post and wanted to answer you before i went to bed. We all have days where it seems that nothing will change the dismal lives we believe we live. But it does get better. sometimes we have to be our own advocate. Which stinks when you cant even get out of bed because youre depressed. I know that is probably what you DIDNT want to hear.

here is something you might like tho....I want you here. So keep coming back and posting. Im sorry i didnt see this right away. I want you to know that you are truly wanted here. and I hope we can become friends.

Hope this helps, even if just a little bit. heres a hug as well.

I hope you can see the light at the end of the tunnell. its called hope.

Take care,

Colleen

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((( Chrise )))))))))))))))))))

I know that it doesn't seem like it but it can get better. If you feel like you are in immediate danger then please go to the hospital. Maybe this program is what you social worker feels is best for you, please give it a try.

[cantstopcrying]

You said you keep going back to the pain. Next time your mind goes back there, loudly say "NO". I know it may seem silly and useless, but it can't hurt to try. After you say that, start some positive self-talk, even if you don't believe it right now and you think it is all useless. "NO! I will not go there. I've been hurt enough. The pain needs to stop now. I will make the pain stop. I deserve that. I do not deserve to hurt." It has worked for me, it may or not work for you but it's worth a try. YOU are worth a try. Don't give up on you. Let all of us here help you, but you have to trust us when we say there IS hope, there IS light. Trust your social worker, too; call her and voice your concern about not being able to see her if you join this program. If she still feels it is best for you, trust her. Remember you can always the make the choice to stay or not. Please, if you feel you can't hold on any longer, call emergency services or go to the hospital.

[turquoisesea]

I was afraid of partial when my therapist brought it up as an option, I didn't end up going
but... when you're down to the point you feel beyond dead and numb, now is a time to try that kinda thing, if you're getting somewhere with the social worker, maybe he/she does know what's best, maybe ask him/her about it

loads of hugs