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#1
Dec 05, 2008, 09:42 PM
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Don't want to go to sleep... crying my eyes out... hurt so bad, triggered so bad... my heads spinning... I haven't cut, but I've hurt myself another way... I'm ok... I won't do anything to me... I'm just a mess... a big big mess... I just need it to stop... the memories, the images, the nightmares... everything that's reminding me (they're not THE problems) they just remind me and make the scars deeper. This gaping hole inside me, this void.. just getting bigger... one minute think great, I feel fantastic I can do this, I'm gonna be ok I'm so happy... and I always go back to bottom... but it's nt being high and being low... it's being high then being rock rock bottom, not coping. But the highs do't last anywhere near as lonng. I feel suffocated, need to get stff out, I can't... I'm looking at buying a dictaphone... maybe I can speak everything 'cause if I write, it doesn't work... but I can't speak it either... it's here in my head... can't get it out... I know what i want to say... how I want to say it... it just WILL NOT COME!
I'm scared.... I haven't a clue what I've wrote, I don't care. I just started and just did... it's not even stuff I want to get out it's just nonsence and if anyones read any of this at al... anyone whos read all the way to the end, I'm sorry... I need... pain... out... just go.....
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#2
Dec 05, 2008, 09:46 PM
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(((((((((((((molly))))))))))) I'm so sorry you are having such a horrible time!! A dictaphone might be a good option to try. Have you tried drawing or painting it out? Do you need to call a crisis line?
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#3
Dec 05, 2008, 09:49 PM
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(((( molly )))) I'm so sorry things are so hard right now. Just keep coming here and posting if it helps you get things out.... even if it's little by little. You are cared for deeply here.
__________________
"There are things we need to forget and forgive, Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need." Silverchair- All Across The World |
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#4
Dec 05, 2008, 10:48 PM
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(((((((((((((((((( Molly ))))))))))))))))))))
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#5
Dec 06, 2008, 12:58 AM
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i read your post and need to reply altho i don't know you like some of the other members. i can feel your pain right now. i am so sorry you are having to go through this. when we hit that bottom it is so wretched, like a deep black hole. i'm glad you posted us even tho it was difficult for you to write it out.
can you call a crisis line or pdoic? hang in there,,,when we are at that bottom the only way is up. it sounds like you are rapid cycling with your mood swings. big hugs to you... 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#6
Dec 06, 2008, 07:23 AM
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__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#7
Dec 06, 2008, 11:15 AM
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((((((((((((((((( molly ))))))))))))))))))))
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#8
Dec 06, 2008, 02:10 PM
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Just let it all out.
((((((( silver moon ))))))) 
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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#9
Dec 06, 2008, 03:14 PM
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We couldn't ignore you.
And if you need to talk, or write, we are here to listen. I know you will feel better. I know you can be happy.  ....and of course we read your post, we care about you.
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#10
Dec 07, 2008, 12:46 PM
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(((((((((((moon))))))))))))))
believe it or not, this is part of the healing process, and it is passing as you are crying, and that's the good news. one morning you are going to wake up and the heartache will not be there.... you will see, my Dear Friend! I know it seems so painful right now, and I wish I could take it away... all I can do is remind you that your next thought could be a better thought, leading to another and another that will help you feel a bit better, to where you can look up, and see something nice and bright or majestic even... and smell some flowers, or stroll around a park.... something to shift your perception of this day, and save it for some smiles and even some peace... xoxox    peace and love, night xoxo xoxo one day you will be making new dreams, and you will succeed, and reach your desired happiness, I just know it! |
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#11
Dec 08, 2008, 04:25 AM
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(((((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))) Feeling a bit better for now... I just wish I could talk, I really hope I get this T soon(although I'm doubting it'll be before christmas) maybe they can help me figure out why I can't talk because leaving it trapped inside is a nightmare.
Thank you all so much ((((night)))) thank you your kind words give me hope, they really doMolly
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#12
Dec 08, 2008, 04:39 AM
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Forget that... not feeling better
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#13
Dec 08, 2008, 09:11 PM
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If you cannot tell us about it, try writing it in a journal. I hope you can get to the point where you can share what's wrong with someone. In the meantime, we are here for you, to laugh, to cry, or just to commiserate with.
We all care about you.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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