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Old Dec 05, 2008, 09:42 PM
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silver_moon silver_moon is offline
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Don't want to go to sleep... crying my eyes out... hurt so bad, triggered so bad... my heads spinning... I haven't cut, but I've hurt myself another way... I'm ok... I won't do anything to me... I'm just a mess... a big big mess... I just need it to stop... the memories, the images, the nightmares... everything that's reminding me (they're not THE problems) they just remind me and make the scars deeper. This gaping hole inside me, this void.. just getting bigger... one minute think great, I feel fantastic I can do this, I'm gonna be ok I'm so happy... and I always go back to bottom... but it's nt being high and being low... it's being high then being rock rock bottom, not coping. But the highs do't last anywhere near as lonng. I feel suffocated, need to get stff out, I can't... I'm looking at buying a dictaphone... maybe I can speak everything 'cause if I write, it doesn't work... but I can't speak it either... it's here in my head... can't get it out... I know what i want to say... how I want to say it... it just WILL NOT COME!
I'm scared....
I haven't a clue what I've wrote, I don't care. I just started and just did... it's not even stuff I want to get out it's just nonsence and if anyones read any of this at al... anyone whos read all the way to the end, I'm sorry...
I need... pain... out... just go.....
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  #2  
Old Dec 05, 2008, 09:46 PM
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cantstopcrying cantstopcrying is offline
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(((((((((((((molly))))))))))) I'm so sorry you are having such a horrible time!! A dictaphone might be a good option to try. Have you tried drawing or painting it out? Do you need to call a crisis line?
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"We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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  #3  
Old Dec 05, 2008, 09:49 PM
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BlueFaith BlueFaith is offline
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(((( molly )))) I'm so sorry things are so hard right now. Just keep coming here and posting if it helps you get things out.... even if it's little by little. You are cared for deeply here.
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  #4  
Old Dec 05, 2008, 10:48 PM
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gimmeice gimmeice is offline
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(((((((((((((((((( Molly ))))))))))))))))))))
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Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

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  #5  
Old Dec 06, 2008, 12:58 AM
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madisgram madisgram is offline
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i read your post and need to reply altho i don't know you like some of the other members. i can feel your pain right now. i am so sorry you are having to go through this. when we hit that bottom it is so wretched, like a deep black hole. i'm glad you posted us even tho it was difficult for you to write it out.
can you call a crisis line or pdoic? hang in there,,,when we are at that bottom the only way is up. it sounds like you are rapid cycling with your mood swings. big hugs to you...
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
  #6  
Old Dec 06, 2008, 07:23 AM
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silver_moon silver_moon is offline
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Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
  #7  
Old Dec 06, 2008, 11:15 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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((((((((((((((((( molly ))))))))))))))))))))
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  #8  
Old Dec 06, 2008, 02:10 PM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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Just let it all out.

((((((( silver moon )))))))
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Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
  #9  
Old Dec 06, 2008, 03:14 PM
Figuring It Out Figuring It Out is offline
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We couldn't ignore you.

And if you need to talk, or write, we are here to listen. I know you will feel better. I know you can be happy.

....and of course we read your post, we care about you.

  #10  
Old Dec 07, 2008, 12:46 PM
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nightbird nightbird is offline
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(((((((((((moon))))))))))))))

believe it or not, this is part of the healing process, and it is passing as you are crying, and that's the good news.

one morning you are going to wake up and the heartache will not be there.... you will see, my Dear Friend!

I know it seems so painful right now, and I wish I could take it away... all I can do is remind you that your next thought could be a better thought, leading to another and another that will help you feel a bit better, to where you can look up, and see something nice and bright or majestic even... and smell some flowers, or stroll around a park.... something to shift your perception of this day, and save it for some smiles and even some peace...

xoxoxIgnore__rantIgnore__rantIgnore__rant

peace and love,
night
xoxo xoxo one day you will be making new dreams, and you will succeed, and reach your desired happiness, I just know it!
  #11  
Old Dec 08, 2008, 04:25 AM
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silver_moon silver_moon is offline
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(((((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))) Feeling a bit better for now... I just wish I could talk, I really hope I get this T soon(although I'm doubting it'll be before christmas) maybe they can help me figure out why I can't talk because leaving it trapped inside is a nightmare.

Thank you all so much
((((night)))) thank you your kind words give me hope, they really do

Molly
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Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
  #12  
Old Dec 08, 2008, 04:39 AM
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silver_moon silver_moon is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: Yorkshire, UK
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Forget that... not feeling better
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Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
  #13  
Old Dec 08, 2008, 09:11 PM
Figuring It Out Figuring It Out is offline
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If you cannot tell us about it, try writing it in a journal. I hope you can get to the point where you can share what's wrong with someone. In the meantime, we are here for you, to laugh, to cry, or just to commiserate with.

We all care about you.

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