[lifelesstraveled]

He said I alienate myself from my friends b/c I never see them....He doesn't even know that I am miserable and have social anxiety. I hide it well, obviously. But him saying that just made me hate myself even more than I do now. It's not like I intentionally alienate myself.... I miss my friends. He doesnt know about the depression-- I guess because I always sound bubbly and I am going about my days looking like a normal happy person...going to work, paying my bills...the necessary stuff...out side of that I am miserable. Most days I just want to stay in my sweats and waste the day away under my blankets. I wish I was dead most days and cant wait for that day to come....No one sees it, no one knows it. I finally told my older sister on thursday because my doc needed me to find out what anti-depressant she is on...she said "since when are you depressed???" I told my sister she wasnt the only one who didnt know and to not feel bad I hide it well in the comfort of my bedroom....outside of my bedroom i look "happy" and semi productive in my every day life.... I've done a really good job at "hiding"...sigh....

(I lost the main point of this post....sorry)

But back to the main point, what he said made me feel even worse and more guilty about alienating myself...I just wish he knew what was really going on. But I hate being a burden and I dont want to sound like a negative nelly or a kill joy...whatever......

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((((( lifelesstraveled ))))))))))))))))))))

Did he actually call you a loser or did he point out that you alienate yourself from your friends? Those are two completely different things.

My suggestion is to talk to him and let him know about the depression. I had a hard time telling my hubby about mine but I was sure to point out that it wasn't his fault over and over again so it wouldn't strain our relationship.
I am sorry that you are struggling, I am sending you lots of hugs.

[lifelesstraveled]

Originally Posted by gimmeice

((((((((((((((((( lifelesstraveled ))))))))))))))))))))

Did he actually call you a loser or did he point out that you alienate yourself from your friends? Those are two completely different things.

My suggestion is to talk to him and let him know about the depression. I had a hard time telling my hubby about mine but I was sure to point out that it wasn't his fault over and over again so it wouldn't strain our relationship.
I am sorry that you are struggling, I am sending you lots of hugs.

thanks the first thing he asked me was if I did anything over the weekend (Long Distance Relationship). I told him I stayed home and he called me a loser and then he said I alienate myself....oh well.

[SophiaG]

He sounds like a jerk. -_-

If a person who I was going out with said something like that to me I'd be mad.

[gimmeice]

Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled

thanks the first thing he asked me was if I did anything over the weekend (Long Distance Relationship). I told him I stayed home and he called me a loser and then he said I alienate myself....oh well.

((((((((((((( lifelesstraveled )))))))))))))))))
I agree that he sounds like a jerk but that's jmo, please don't accept what he said as truth.

[Capp]

((lifelesstraveled))

jmo...he's the loser and a jerk
you are not a loser. you are a worthwhile human being doing the best you can right now.
perhaps his asking you if you did anything shows he suspects something is going on, but it may be he's a control freak who uses criticism.
are you able to confront him about what he said to you and how it made you feel?
his answers will give you a pretty good idea of his feelings...and it's best you know now what they are.

I'm truly sorry you are having such a tough time!
I hope your sister understood and was supportive...



Cap

[pegasus]

(((((( lifelesstraveled )))))

Nobody needs to have a boyfriend who calls them a loser. You don't deserve that. If he truly cared he would be concerned and want to know what was up.

[turquoisesea]

I'm not sure, long distance is tough, but my general goal for a good relationship, is that honesty and openness fuels a good relationship.

If he's not willing to accept you AND your depression/social anxiety... I HATE to say it but it might not be right. It should NOT be the focus of the relationship. But it would make him understand. Just a thought, but I dunno anything about the two of you or your relationship so take this with a grain of salt

[brephi]

ARE YOU NOT SEEING YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR BOYFRIED OR IS IT BECAUSE YOU ARE ALIENATING YOURSELF FROM YOUR FRIENDS SO THAT YOU WILL NOT SCRUTINIZED BECAUSE OF YOUR DEPRESSION?????

IN ANY CASE, YOU NEED SOMEONE POSITIVE IN YOUR CORNER AT THIS TIME. SOMEONE WHO CALLS YOU A LOSER IS NOT IN YOUR CORNER.

[lifelesstraveled]

Originally Posted by brephi

ARE YOU NOT SEEING YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR BOYFRIED OR IS IT BECAUSE YOU ARE ALIENATING YOURSELF FROM YOUR FRIENDS SO THAT YOU WILL NOT SCRUTINIZED BECAUSE OF YOUR DEPRESSION?????

IN ANY CASE, YOU NEED SOMEONE POSITIVE IN YOUR CORNER AT THIS TIME. SOMEONE WHO CALLS YOU A LOSER IS NOT IN YOUR CORNER.

thanks

Me not seeing my friends has nothing to do with him. I miss them...when I am around them i feel sooo uncomfortable like my misery is written all over my face, plus my social anxiety coupled with that makes it that much harder...sigh. What's funny is that there are a lot of things I feel he needs to work on(lack of responsiblity, addict--not hard core drugs just pot, huge temper that is rarely directed at me, but he has hard time at work cuz of it...etc ect)and I tell him with love and constructive criticism for lack of a better word and i dont call him a loser ever b/c I know I am not a shining example of what a healthy person should be
...he's just harsh. I am doing what I can to work on myself and I am hoping to be hanging out with my friends by my bday next month...though i am not getting my hopes up as i know getting better will probably be a slow process...