[elaton]

I don't talk about this stuff online; this is my first post ever. Been dealing with major depression now for over fifteen years. Life is a mess, keep losing jobs and despite being overeducated and extremely intelligent have not been able to get my life in order since at least '93. I'm burnt out. Exhausted.

I just fell apart. I'm an artist. Or was. The spark just died; I havent' been able to paint for over a decade. I won awards, got scholarships, went to grad school, and I blew it. I just can't get my *** out of the rut no matter how much therapy and medications and all that stuff I have gone through. I;m cursed.

I just lost my job again. I have less than a thousand in the bank, and I was doing so well after over a ayear of being unemployed and homeless. I trusted the people who said they would help, and the minit I got a little bit of work it was all about how I'm a user with these women. I still harbor a lot of anger and resentment toward these two women that said they wanted to help but just laid guilt trips on me. It's always about them. I'm so bloody angry. I got myself out of those toxic relationships as fast as I could.

[bipolar_bear]

I am so sorry things are so hard for you elaton. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. Sometiems the depression takes away all the motivation we have. I know how hard it can be to get out of this rut you find yourself. Can you find someone to talk to; a counselor, t. Many times you can find them at your local community mental health building; or they can help you find someone. I am glad you reached out here and hope you find the support you are looking for.

BB

[gimmeice]

Hello elation, it's nice to meet you. I am sorry that you are struggling.
Are you still in therapy? If you are I would definitely bring this issue up with your therapist and if not then maybe it is time to try again maybe you just weren't with the right therapist for you.
I find it very helpful to post here, it is a great place to meet new friends and find support for this journey that we call life.

If you have any questions feel free to private message any community liaison or moderator, here is a link to the list of forum leaders.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showgroups.php
We are here to help in any way that we can.

[Tumnus]

Originally Posted by elaton

I still harbor a lot of anger and resentment toward these two women that said they wanted to help but just laid guilt trips on me. It's always about them. I'm so bloody angry. I got myself out of those toxic relationships as fast as I could.

I'm pretty new to PC but I haven't yet seen a guilt trip, so I think you're in better company already. I'm so sorry you've had to go through those toxic relationships.