[whomever]

Little by little I am dying from depression and there are no answers. Suicide invades my thoughts and yet I hang on to a life with no meaning, hoping and wishing and pretending that everything is fine, things will change. i look every where for that little twinkle of hope and I find it in a forum and a new day begins.

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((((((((malt))))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((Malt))))))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

(((malt)) we ARE here... keep coming back and posting. I, too, deal with major depression, and am surprised I haven't seen you in my black swirling mass of depression... must be too dark to see anything... I often state that I'm here killing time, instead of myself. I hope you are able to come here also, instead.

[whomever]

Even though the sun doesn't shine and I can't see your faces the light finds it's way into the words that are posted. No matter what I am gratefull for this time.

[silver_queen]

Malt, I think I have a good idea of how you feel. I too see depression as slowly killing me... smothering me in hopelessness and despair, and it makes you wonder, what is the point of living? i havent found one yet for myself... im living my life for other people. but i guess we will continue breathing and living and fighting and hurting, right? i hope we can both make it.

[Nerak]

((((((((((Malt)))))))))))

[whomever]

you are young and have every reason to fight this and find ways to heal

[Mahali]

Malt ---please do take care.

[Wants2Fly]

I have felt that way too. As if I would be smothered in the darkness, as if I couldn't breathe, as if the sadness and loneliness and despair were a weight on my chest.

Welcome to the forums, Malt. This is a good place to find support, people who care, who understand -- and sometimes even hope and recovery.

Keep coming back.

[satansgetawaydriver]

I had a few apithanies today which i think help contribute to my lighter mood. the first was "im taking this life crap too seriously" and the second has slipped my mind

[Maya]

Keep posting and keep resisting the urge. I have felt the urge so many times I can't count them. Last week my T told me if I did not change my attitude, by life, I would not make it. He challenged me to overcome the urge to die, to kill myself. I accepted his challenge and I have found it to be very, very hard. Talk to your T about this - he/she needs to know. Both my T and my pdoc know of my urges and that I have several plans that will work and be painless to me but they trust me enough that I have promised not to act on them without a call to either of them to talk. And I have kept that promise. Without my T I would be dead now. He has saved my life wiht his compassion and experience and his trust in my basic goodness. Keep safe - remember - we have a disease - it may not be able to be cured but it can be kept in reasonably good control with meds and T. Get help. keep posting here - there is more to life than depression. I have seen it in between bouts since I have been in therapy - it is possible. You are an important member of this family and we all care.