[lmg103]

my anger is getting out of controlllll
i used to be able to calm myself down
but now it just takes over
and im starting to hurt everyone around me
im not meaning too, but i just get so upset
i feel like im constantly in a fight against the world

anyone have any ways to control their anger? its something that i really want to try to work on because i'm so sick of upsetting everyone.

[lifelesstraveled]

Originally Posted by lmg103

my anger is getting out of controlllll
i used to be able to calm myself down
but now it just takes over
and im starting to hurt everyone around me
im not meaning too, but i just get so upset
i feel like im constantly in a fight against the world

anyone have any ways to control their anger? its something that i really want to try to work on because i'm so sick of upsetting everyone.

I have no advice to help with anger managment. I actually have the complete opposite problem. I hold my anger in ALWAYS and stew in it. BUT are you in therapy? maybe your T can help you with this? If you feel yourself getting upset or angry and you feel like you are about to lose control, maybe try leaving the room and isolating yourself for a few minutes to calm down? Or try healthier ways to get your anger out? Like some vigorous excerise? Or writing?

[lmg103]

i'm starting therapy now. its like i do the same thing i hold my anger in but then it gets to a point where i cant hold it in any longer and i freak out. i do not healthy ways to get it out. but i do try writing sometimes and it kinda helps for a little.

[nowheretorun]

hi img, really important work to do then... the emotions are fine, its how they are expressed.. we want people to understand why we are angry so they can help... we can help them understand and help us by learning to keep our words harmless to our listener... we can talk to someone (T or friend) and tell them everything and if they can remember this is just you getting your anger out and are willing to let you yell, rant and rave (as long as no one is harmed in the process) then you have an excellent outlet... good listeners are what you need .... sending you the best

[lmg103]

i think your right. but i cant really do that iwth my friends or i just dont feel comfortable letting all my anger out on them. and with my t im going to be going back to school and starting with a new one real soon and ive only been with this one for a couple of times. im not good with trusting people, so ive barely been able to get my anger out with her

Originally Posted by nowheretorun

hi img, really important work to do then... the emotions are fine, its how they are expressed.. we want people to understand why we are angry so they can help... we can help them understand and help us by learning to keep our words harmless to our listener... we can talk to someone (T or friend) and tell them everything and if they can remember this is just you getting your anger out and are willing to let you yell, rant and rave (as long as no one is harmed in the process) then you have an excellent outlet... good listeners are what you need .... sending you the best

[turquoisesea]

also maybe take out the anger in another way... nothing wrong with punching a pillow, nothing wrong with ripping up a piece of paper or something.
And definitely trying to express anger through words is a great ultimate goal

[lmg103]

i guess but that never satisfies me. i always need somehing a little bit more. and then i give into the urge.

QUOTE=turquoisesea;906960]also maybe take out the anger in another way... nothing wrong with punching a pillow, nothing wrong with ripping up a piece of paper or something.
And definitely trying to express anger through words is a great ultimate goal

[/QUOTE]

[nowheretorun]

interruptions do occur img... so, we give ourselves time to find understanding... you sound headed the right direction to me its really ok to be angry and with anger, we can let others know just what it is thats bothering us... i was always given to wild outbursts when i ran short of my ability to express and that created distance and misunderstanding... the opposite of what i was trying to achieve... you are doing well with it right now imo... take care, be patient with self even tho its really hard i know, and patience with others .... hard to do if someone didnt show us exactly what to do and when.. the way others respond to us will tell us if we've been effective in learning this skill.. anger management can make or break it for us... others just walk away after a time when exposed to our deficient ability to express safely...