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#1
Jan 09, 2009, 11:53 PM
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I have been unable to sit up for the last couple of days due to falling again. i could not use my cane this time, my arm has started to go numb and when i was able to convince my husband i needed to go to the doctor they said that due to a ex-boyfriend my nerves, muscles and veins are pinched between my shoulder and my top rib. they want to remove my top rib. please he took so much already now this guy is going to get a rib bone. what about the other guys before him?
how much more can i live through? if it was not my ex boyfriend from 4 years ago it was other men before him, just one after another. the nightmares are so bad right nowand they feel so real, like it is happening all over again. over 15 years from the first rape, how much longer will the terror last? how much more can i last through? even now my husband is mad due to me only getting 29/30 for an assignment this week. he is not even happy about the paper that i got all the points for. at least i was able to get it out in here without problems. i am sorry for ranting again. i seem to do that alot in here |
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#2
Jan 10, 2009, 01:08 AM
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Sorry to hear …you seem to be in a lot of pain? If you don’t me asking ware you involved any kind of unhealthy relationship? I hope things get better for you I will pray for you.
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#3
Jan 10, 2009, 10:17 AM
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((misty))) it's ok to rant here. i'm so sorry you are so down right now. it's good that you are geting these feelings out. i am happy to listen to you. i was abused too and can tell you that in time i really got better with the issues and the ptsd. are you in therapy for these feelings? i know i benefited from therapy cause there was so much stuff to get out in a safe way.
i will pray for you to heal from these things done to you. 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#4
Jan 10, 2009, 06:06 PM
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Quote:
thank you. i do not go to any therapy after the theapist called the cops on me for being honest about how i was feeling. i figured if i can not be honest with someone i am paying then i will not go there again. so until i found this site i have dealt with it on my own. since finding this site i have been able to get some of my feelings out. i will get my medication from my regular doctor for the simple fact that as long as i take my medication like i am suppose to then they will help. thank you again. |
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