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#1
Feb 10, 2009, 03:04 AM
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I've been suffering from depression for quite a while now. I finally got myself to the docs in May and she gave me some anti d's which have slowly started to help. I've also just started seeing a counsellor. I was doing well, taking all the advice, working everything through but now I can feel myself sliding back down that slippery slope. I can't be bothered with anything, I'm snapping at my family. I can see my husband look at me and think 'not again'. I know it's happening, but I can't do anything about it. I feel useless again and don't even want to try and tell anyone, why would they listen. I don't remember things and I'm forever locking myself out cos I haven't got my keys, forgetting the girls dinner money. I'm just bloody useless and frustrated that I can't do anything about it, I've tried all my coping mechanisms. I'm forty on Saturday and just keep wondering what I've done with all this time. My two little girls are amazing but I feel like that is just in spite of me, when I want it to be because of me.
Sorry for the rant but I've got to let it out somewhere. |
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#2
Feb 10, 2009, 06:17 AM
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oh daisy
 can you call your doc? it may be that they need to up your meds for depression. often times it takes a while for them to get the correct doseage. it's not you....it's the depression. all the symptoms you described. give your doc a call and try to schedule an appointment asap. you will get better, i understand and know that cause it happened to me. i'm stable now and it's all about communicating to the docs until they get you stable too.keep us posted, k? i care about you and glad you found pc. it will help you too. 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#3
Feb 10, 2009, 07:00 AM
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((((((( DaisyG ))))))))
Welcome to Psych Central! Yes it can seem like a battle, difficult but try not to beat yourself up about it. I remember I went down just before my fortieth, impending doom, what have I done with my life and where did it all go? Do something special for you!
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 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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#4
Feb 10, 2009, 09:18 AM
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Does it ever end?.....I HOPE SO!
To hell with the drugs, been there and they either make you sick, tiered or they don't work. I guess it's just something we're born with. For me, I can go a month not wanting to get out of bed...then all of a sudden, it's gone! I'm out and feeling like a normal person. Then for no reason, it comes back! Xanax helps it a little. That's the only drug I keep by me at ALL TIMES! I wish you luck...oh, and...........  PS: Don't feel too bad, I'n gonna be 53 years old! 
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Nobody Should Have To Suffer! 
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#5
Feb 10, 2009, 09:32 AM
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Dear Daisy,
I can totally relate to what you said about your husband. I have had several discussions with mine in the last few days about a downturn in my condition, and it is hard for him. He's lived through it with me for many years. Even so, I have to remind myself that I can't exactly control the way my biochemistry works, the meds do that. So it's kind of like confessing that I have a migraine or something of that sort-- and it may help your husband to remember how hard you are working to find stability and wellness, and that through no fault of your own, that just hasn't quite happened yet. Yes, these feelings can end. I have had so many good years where I've been symptom free. That isn't the case right now, but I have had a lot of stability. Finding the right med mix can be difficult, and it can take some trial and error to get it right. Consider yourself hugged and supported as you go through this tough time, and remember you're not alone. Warm Regards, Kittykins9 |
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#6
Feb 10, 2009, 08:47 PM
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thank you for ranting.
getting feelings out is one of hte most important things to be able to do. Your kids arent in spite of you, they're 50pct your dna, and 100pct nurtured on your love (i'm sure others love them too but I still think your love counts 100pct and more) Give this more time, it sounds like you're starting to do so much you need to do, just give it some time to work  
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 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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#7
Feb 11, 2009, 01:32 PM
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Just want to say thanks. I haven't been able to get on here due to some it issue but I now do feel that at least I'm not alone. I still feel the same but will take some of the advice (got my hair cut to try and feel better), and will try and explain to my husband what's going on. Had a massive row this morning and I feel so lonely, so it's nice to have you there.
Hope I can help you all sometime.... |
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