[phoenix30]

It's 9.09 pm and I think I've been crying since 8pm.

I can't seem to stop. I haven't felt like this for months.

It's now 9.45pm and i can't think of aything else to say.

I'll keep coming back here, i'm optimistic that this forum will help me.

Thank you all.

((((((((((phoenix)))))

So sorry you are having a hard time!

[Wants2Fly]

((((((((((((((((((((((Phoenix)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[phoenix30]

Thanx
x

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((( phoenix ))))))))))))))))))))))))

i hope this lightens for you soon.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((phoenix))))))))))))))))))

[phoenix30]

Hello everyone..

Thanx so much for your words - it really means a lot...

Last nite I slept for 9 hours straight and thats the best sleep i've had for ages.

I woke up this morning and didn't feel like i was going to burst into tears.

I'm back to work tomorrow, after my usual sat/sunday off so today i'm going to do my house work which, if truth be told, has been neglected for the past few days. House is a tip.

My daughtet is coming home tonight from her fortnightly visit to her dads - I guess on some level that's where I find the strength to pull it together for a while. I'll get the house cleaned up and hope his feeling of optimism lasts.

hugs (((((for everyone)))))

x

[Poppet]

((((((((Phoenix)))))))))))))

Just browsing and saw your posts. You reached out, ppl cared, you got good sleep and feel more optimistic today - wonder if its helping you already ?

Things work in mysterious ways, my belief is that the positive step of reaching out, specially when you feel so low, somehow 'does something' that you may not realise at the time.

As ordinary as it sounds, getting on with tidying etc can even move things out of that horrible place.

The tears, my tears can just spring from nowhere and often when i least expect them - is it like that for you ?
The sadness can be overwhelming and make it so hard to reach out but i have found this forum to be a little miracle - hope you keep posting and hope your optimistic-ness (!) lasts awhile.

share some popcorn with me ! .....Poppet

[phoenix30]

Hi Poppet,

Thanx for your kind words... I really can't believe how much it has helped - finding this site, finding the courage to post and to chat to some people - I'm 30 and I know that a lot of people here have suffered a lot longer than I have, but this is the first time in my life I have talked about any of my experiences to anyone and just "meeting" some people who have gone thru or are gong thru similar things - well it's amazing. One of my fears is that people would think I was making it up or just looking for attention, both stem from childhood experiences.

But I've been made to feel so welcome here, no-one judges or condones and everyone offers thier support unconditionally.

Could this be another start to my so called 'recovery'... It's so easy to forget that I do have days like this, when I wake up and feel 'better'. They are few and far between but I'm sure that finding this site helped me to feel better today. I know I have breathed a sigh of relief, just being here and finding like minded people, I'm not alone anymore. Lets see how I am this evening.

Yes, tears spring up from no-where for me too. Sometimes I think I'm having a 'good' day and suddenly I feel my eyes welling up. I have no idea why.

(((((popppet)))))

How are you feeling today - I always have this guilt complex about talking about myself constantly - another childhood thing.

I really must go and start the housework - lunch time tho, lol

Thanx x

[ManWithAHeart]

Its a good to see your feeling better and rest assured, youve come to the right place. There are a lot of incredible people on this site and i love it here.. I hope you get better and better and remember, your a star.

Luv Paul

[phoenix30]

(((((((((((paul)))))))))))

thanx x

[Poppet]

Hi, Phoenix - hope you are still feeling better than you did. I am ok today, despite having an email from my sister that has took me by surprise - she has finally revealed to me what her 'issue' is with me after years of me not having a clue ! So thats all sinking in !

I'd like to let you know that I am seeing almost daily how being with others on this forum can help me with so much, and I hope that you get that from it too.

I, also, have some difficulty in taking up space talking about myself and I have dared to do it here (so scary, so many negative thoughts about it). My experience has been that I needed to know ppl here were ok and were willing to understand me, and when I found they did, that desperateness seemed to ease and it freed me to offer support and chat to others (which I like to do).

Once you see that ppl here don't reject you and give you space, I hope you will find some of your stuff eases, at a deeper level all we want is understanding and care from somewhere - usually cos we haven't got much of it so far in our lives !

Or, because self worth is so low, it can't be seen when its staring you in the face ! I find it so hard to believe that ppl care about me and it is so hard to let it in.

I can also relate to how you feel that others will think you are making it up, or looking for attention - I still feel like I am going to be 'hauled over the coals' and asked to provide evidence every time I mention it !!

You are now, officially, not alone have some more popcorn ! hehehe..........take care, Poppet

[phoenix30]

(((((((((((poppet)))))))))))

"Thanx"
Chat soon, eh?

Px

[silver_queen]

Glad you're feeling a little better, Phoenix