[Tmac]

Do you ever feel like you are in a huge hole? You reach up and grab the edges to pull yourself out but it just gives way. You stand there with the crumbled dirt in you hand and think will I ever be able to pull myself out. What makes that hole even worse is while standing in there trying to figure out how you will make it there are others throwing shovels full of dirt in on you. Better yet they have no idea they are burying you and have no idea thats where you are because you have no voice. How about when you find that voice and you are afraid to speak up because you have been sucked in so deep you don't want anyone to know for fear of being judged.

I guess the best way to say it is your are in a black hole and can't get out. You don't want others to know for fear of riducule and judging. What is even worse when others do not understand and tell you to just get over whats bothering you. I guess I am not sure which is worse beign depressed or others know you are depressed or the people who don't even care. I guess I am just trying to vent out of frustration more than anything. Because being in this hole SUCKS! I wish getting over it were that simple. I get more angry and frustrated with myself for being where I am because I don't like where am and nothing I do seems to help.

[Rachie]

((((((((((Tmac)))))))))) i feel ur pain! What u wrote pretty much sums up the way i feel too...hope ur feeling better soon. Hugs and love, Rachie x

[madisgram]

that's one of the comforting things i find here at pc. the members are supportive and many of us do understand the pain you are in because we have experienced or are experiencing the same pain. i'm sorry right now you are feeling so "stuck in the hole."
keep sharing your thoughts and feelings, tmac. i see it like a pressure cooker. one lets out the steam a little at a time so it/we don't explode. it really does help!

[byoungusa]

You said exactly how I feel, you put it perfectly. And the more people try to tell you to pull yourself up by your boots straps, the worse you feel because I just can't. Even if I can consceously realize there are good things around me it doesn't matter I can't pull myself out of the pit. Then I feel so guilty, and question if I'm doing this to myself, what is the matter with me? I've been this way all my life, antidepressants help,but they don't stop it, they just make it so I can fake it better and maybe make the pit alittle shallower. I am in T for the first time now, I hope to understand things better, and maybe cope better. good luck to you, I feel ya

[Taonuviel]

(((((((((((((tmac))))))))))))) yes.

[PLEASE_STOP]

WOW! That's a good way of putting it. Your not alone!!!