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#1
Mar 09, 2009, 12:16 AM
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may be some triggers in here.
I'm hurting so much... I thought about my life so far. It's been a constant trail of decay. I'm incapable of anything now... I can't .. I CAN't. I'm barely keeping myself from harm. I barely want to anymore. Anythign to make hte pain stop. I want to get better. I've been trying so hard. But I just can't. Where is the path to getting better. Because I am NOT on it. I have gotten worse. I really have. I"m supposed to be getting better. My time is DEDICATED to getting better. I can't sleep right, I can't eat right. Let alone any of the "normal" stuff people do. Like get a job, go to school, associate with other human beings. I don't know what to do anymore... I can barely tust my T, we're planning on talking about the dissociation next time. But wht can shepossibly do, what has she done? so lost, and hurting and the last post in my blog shows the line of destruction, though I expect none to read.
__________________
 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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#2
Mar 09, 2009, 12:21 AM
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sending big hugs your way. thinking off you
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 turquoisesea
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#3
Mar 09, 2009, 12:34 AM
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I'm sorry you feel this way...i'm off to read your blog right now! pm me if you want to talk about it further. i am no professional, but i am a person struggling with depression like yourself and i'm a good listener!
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| turquoisesea
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#4
Mar 09, 2009, 01:29 AM
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thank you both for your replies... i'm just feeling overwhelmed, I can't get to sleep , I got up at 5am and its 2:30 am so i should be able to. but I can't. It's almost like I want to trigger myself, and get mad at myself so I can get some relief. And I threw up, I've been trying not to do that for so long.
so overwhelmed... *hugs everyone if it's ok*
__________________
Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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#5
Mar 09, 2009, 07:37 AM
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((turquoisesea)))))))))))) talk to your Dr , If you are getting worse as you said, Talk to someone IRL too
Its sounds like you know yourself very well. ANd are really trying. imo Get the help you need so as not to hurt you. Im sorry your friend is having to go into the hospital . Thats the last part I read. Im glad his parents will be there with you. Remember to take care of you . as you do (matter)))))))))))))))) |
| turquoisesea
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#6
Mar 09, 2009, 02:16 PM
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((((((((((((((((( turquoisesea ))))))))))))))))))
 
__________________
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| turquoisesea
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#7
Mar 09, 2009, 04:53 PM
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I can understand the frustration that you have with your therapist. I really hated the "professional detachment" approach. I needed a T to engage me, to duel with me, to fight with me, to rip me apart. That's what I needed, and I never got it. I cannot be sure what you really need from your T, but you don't seem to be getting it.
__________________
The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The Beginning 
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| turquoisesea
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#8
Mar 09, 2009, 05:37 PM
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lots of hugs, turquoisea
sending lots of good vibes your way.
__________________
Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
| turquoisesea
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#9
Mar 10, 2009, 02:13 PM
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(((((((((((((((((turqoisesea)))))))))
iam so sorry you feel this way ..iam here for you... huge hugs.....
__________________
As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright. |
| turquoisesea
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#10
Mar 10, 2009, 02:29 PM
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I'm sorry that you're so down now. You always have a hug and positive words for others- here's a hug for you.
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| turquoisesea
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#11
Mar 12, 2009, 02:24 PM
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Is your pain just emootional or also physical? If itsw physical I can relate I have been in pain for over a year now. Got to find some hope I am hopeful for ssurgery if I dont get it I dont know what I will do
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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