[Rachie]

for some reason i feel like taking all my meds at once. im not sad and i dont want to kill myself, but for some reason i think i just feel like harming myself....it has me puzzled as to why i would be thinking like this, theres a little voice telling me just do it you know you want to. ive been in a weird mood all week and its hard to explain.

[pegasus]

Looking for an answer or a way through. Obviously taking all your meds at once is not a good idea. Maybe you could write some things down that would be helpful for you to get through this sticky patch.

[Rachie]

I feel like im in self destructive mode and just want to do things that i shouldnt. I duno its hard to explain...

[pegasus]

Excess energy. You might find it helpful to write things out. Or use some of that energy by going for a walk or punching a pillow. Let it out in a safe way.

[turquoisesea]

I understand...
I've never wanted to take a bunch of pills but I've definitely just sat there wanting to do things that were very bad, for no real reason. Though lots of times I was mad.

What are you feeling right now? Do you feel any emotions about anything at all?

Maybe you're not really feeling right now. I could be totally off, but sometimes that happens to me.

be careful, be safe, and many hugs to you

[justfloating]

(((((((((((((((rachie)))))))))))))))))

I understand. I used to get that way sometimes. A couple of times, for no real reason, I had to flush all my non-essential meds down the toilet, because I felt like I was on my way to doing something unsafe. It's really weird when that feeling comes out of nowhere but it does pass. Maybe you can find some way of distracting yourself for a while. That usually helped for me.

Hugs. Take care and be safe.

[trevorzero]

Hi, Rachie

I bet there is a lot of anger inside you right now. Thoughts of self-destruction are often related to submerged thoughts about destroying someone else.

[Rachie]

thankfully now these thoughts have subsided for now...im now feeling complete bordem yay fo me!!! not...trevorzero i really like the way you put that, but at the time i was not angry at anyone (at least if i was i dont remember who i was angry at or why) turquiosesea i think you were right i really wasnt feeling any sort of emotion...it was kind of like iw as cold anf lifeless but was still interacting normal with friends and family so they were none the wiser to the thoughts that were running thru my head. just floating if i had something to distract me i would but i can never seem to find anything that distracts me good enough. pegasus i think i need to invest in a punching bag =D thnx for all the help...sorry i took so long to reply back cant get on here as much now that im staying at my mums for a little while

[turquoisesea]

glad you're feeling a bit better neways, although boredom is no fun either x.x

punching bag could be good =D You can also take a pillow, put it on something SOFT like a bed and punch that too to get some anger out, if that's somewhere there. OR A PINATA! well... that might wear out too fast but it would be fun

I hope staying at your mom's is ok for you? a safe place?

sending hugs
~turquoisesea

[Rachie]

Ohh yes pinata's are fun =D yes my mother's house is a safe place, i just don't like not having time to myself i think that might have something to do with the way i was feeling too. Well im feeling cool, calm and collected at the moment so thats always good =)

[nightbird]

Rachie,

Do you keep a journal, where you can write your feelings, sketch your ideas, and maybe tell your thoughts inside it... so that you can see how you are progressing... and the story your life is telling <>

Maybe you can get your very own therapist, if this continues, who can help you get in touch with what is causing you to want to self harm.

Something is bothering you inside that you can find expression to, and well, wise ones will tell you, you can do something to fix a trouble spot when you can acknowledge it, and that takes discovering it first.

Best to you on your healing path...


Peace,

Night
xoxo