[kindness1980]

The truth is this: I'm the depressed/anxious daughter of two clinically depressed parents (one bordering on antisocial personality disorder plus alcoholism) and four mentally ill grandparents (one schizophrenic, one antisocial personality disorder, three alcoholics). I'm intelligent, in fact, I majored in psychology in school because I believed it would get better, that it was possible to overcome depression.

I never been able to overcome it. I've been depressed literally as long as I can remember. I've tried conventional therapy with a psychologist, LCSW (currently) and psychiatrist, drug therapy, self-help, etc.

I'm 28 years old and am tired. I'm a good person, I've done what I should in life, in fighting this. And it hasn't worked. I find myself in this same blackness over and over again. Yes, my life has had some unfortunate circumstances, including the loss of a parent and the suicide of my best friend. Most recently, the ending of a long-term relationship. But these things happen to other people too. And I spend so much time grieving that I don't have time or room for anything else.

So, I'm back on another plan, going to alanon, seeing a therapist, trying again with drugs. Learning to accept the frightening reality: this is me, it has always been me.

Can anyone else say they've been through it the same before, that they've been depressed/ashamed THEIR WHOLE LIVES and are okay now? Because I've totally lost hope at this point.

[artichack]

Hello kindness123....I've suffered from major depression since the age of 25...I'm now 47...too many ups and downs to list here...depression is the worst thing I've ever experienced in my entire life...nobody else can understand what we go through...hell....but I'm here to tell you that you can live with it...still find happiness...love...but it isn't easy...you really have to want to get better...fight for your right to be happy...you deserve it...I hope you start feeling better....

[Sad In TX]

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. Just this week I realized after being off medication that I will probably have to take it for the rest of my life, which is something I am ambivalent about.

But my brain is wicked to myself, and I have to remind myself that I am way too hard on me. Looks to me that you are feeling the same.

I've been depressed my whole life too. My mother was abusive and for a while I had no support until my parents divorce. I also had some stuff happen to me too that left me angry and extremely cynical about the quality of life getting better, but I have to remember those that care about me. I think having a good support system helps a lot.

I really feel for you and hope you start feeling better soon. I understand, and so many others do too. We all have a story, and some of us need help coping with ours. But there are those who care, and if you ever wanna email, please do.

I'm 37 and have been suffering from diagnosed depression since 2003.

[justfloating]

(((((((((((((((((kindness))))))))))))))))))))

I don't know how long I've been depressed. Probably most of my life, now that I think about it, but thinking about how horrible I've felt only makes me sad, so I try not to fixate on an exact point when it set in.

What I can tell you is that I've been depressed probably half my life, at least, and it does get better. Goodness knows it takes time and energy and a lot of false starts, but it happens. I promise it happens. It happened for me, and it can happen for you. It doesn't seem like it now, does it? I never believed I was going to get better -- I felt like I was just going through the motions to appease my doctor and counsellor and family, but then one day ... I don't know. Something clicked. And now I'm recovering from my depression. It's been hard -- it still is, in fact -- but I've realized that I do not have to live in the dark forever. Once in a while, I can take a peek into the light, and it's the most beautiful light I've ever seen.

It will happen. Have faith that it will, and if you can't, then I will have faith for you while you fight this thing. Lots of hugs.