so scared & so tired of being scared

For the past week and a half, whenever I can, I have been knocking myself out (inducing sleep) by overmedicating. I just want to be unconscious. That way I can escape all my thoughts, moods, feelings--especially FEAR. I don't even mind nightmares. At least, when I wake up, I can say--"it was only a dream"
I want to die. I am afraid to die. I am afraid because it would destroy my mom if i died. I am afraid because I don't know what death is like.
I am afraid because i don't know if i can control myself.
I am afraid of life. I am afraid of germs. I am afraid of people. I am afraid of taking a yoga class, for god sakes! I am afraid for no reason at all. I am just afraid and my heart hurts literally and figuratively, for no reason.

What the hell is wrong with me????????

Berries, sending so many hugs. I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Please consider what you might need to take care of yourself - if you need to be admitted to make sure you're ok please do it.

You're having a rough time. Please try to stay awake. Escaping thoughts is not the answer. Maybe right now you need a break, but overmedicating is dangerous, please don't do it that way.

do you have a professional you can call? At the very least they can give you sleep meds?

(((((((((Berries)))))))))

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Feeling so bad you would rather sleep constantly is nowhere I want to go back to. Overmedicating yourself is very dangerous...please stop. I definitely agree with tourquois...call some kind of pdoc and get some help. I know for me....the more I slept, the more I wanted to sleep. It is a vicious cyle you have to take control over. Sending lots of well wishes your way

berries...find help...call someone...get into a safe place until your crisis is over..and you can think more clearly....your really in need of professional help...seek it...you will get better...give yourself a chance...okay?

Hey there,
Please get help. You need it and you need it fast. I don't want you to OD on too many sleeping pills - it's too easy. Just call a hotline or get your mother to take you to the doctor, but please go.

Sending you lots of hugs...

I agree with everyone else, you need to get help and you need it now. Overmedicating is not the answer, and it's very, very dangerous. I know that all you want to do is sleep to avoid the bad thoughts in your head but that's not going to solve anything. You need to take active steps to fight them, which is scary, but you don't deserve any less.

Please be careful, and get the help you need right away. Sending you lots of hugs and good vibes. Take care.

Fear is a terrible thing. My wish for you is that you can find a way to face the fear - confront it directly - and then come out on the other side.

I'm not saying it's easy . . .