[depressedunlucky]

First of all I want to thank all good people out there who is patient enough to go through the problem I am facing.I am not sure what type of disorder I am suffering from but this problem is almost killing me I am very very very very depressed. I feel it is worthless to live this type of life. I literally have no friends in my life and I have made several attempts to make friends but I never succeeded. Till the age of 10 I was fine but the trouble started after that. I have changed school and in my class no one seemed to like me. I can confidently say that I am nice person and I never did any unpardonable mistake to be ignored like that . I have to go to school alone and come back alone. My parents always used to scold me to study well and get good grades. Even though I had high ambitions about my studies I am able to partly achieve my goals. I could have achieved more if I had real friends who can love me for what I am. My parents never cared about what I am going through as a teenager and blamed me that I am responsible for not having any friends. They never thought why I am not able to make any friends. One good character I have is I never give up very easily. So since my teenage I have been trying to make true friends like every other average Joe but all my attempts miserably failed. I feel I have been cursed to have no friends. I have to tell about my father here. I can say that he is a coward. There was a guy who in my class who took advantage of my loneliness and started harassing me. I told my father about that guy but he never did anything to stop that guy from harrassing me. I just went to classes like that for more than an year for the sake of achieving my goals. From that day I lost trust on my parents and I never believe that they are there for me. Because of this lonliness I have a very low self-esteem and I don't have belief on me.
I tried to analyze my situation on why I am not able to make any friends. I found that I am very innocent not sure how to behave with a person depending on their character.I behave very nicely with everyone irrespective of their age group. I don't know how to interact with people of my age group. I try to be very polite and nice. The sad part about me is that I can't access the character of a person and behave accordingly. So people treat me like a straw and people of my age group don't find any enjoyment in my company. So no one is interested in making me as his/her friend. I tried real hard to improve my situation by analyzing people's character but failed. I feel that it should come as we grow and it can't be taught in school. Due to my fate I lack that basic quality to lead this life. I have stopped interacting with people because I have deep fear inside me that I will definitely fail. As the days pass I am loosing interest on this life. I have seen a therapist in person but said I am a normal person without any problems.
As a last resort I am writing my problem in this forum hoping to get some help. Pleaseeeeeeeeee help me out!!!

[miray]

((((((((((((((depressed))))))))))))) I'm so very sorry you are going thorough such a rough time. Feeling all alone is very hard. Having a therapist you can trust is very important. Maybe after a few more appointments with yours it will become a little easier to talk to them and get some helpful input. Sometimes it takes a bit to really get to the root of problems. In the meantime, maybe keep reading and/or posting the threads here to see if it helps. It has helped me tremendously. Best of luck to you

[sunflower55]

You don't talk about what your interests are. What do *you* like to do?
Are you into sports? Chess? Academics? A spiritual life?
When we know, or begin to know who we are, we gravitate to those with like interests. Friendships develop naturally.

You seem to be concerned about the characters of others. And you speak about your father being a "coward." That *suggests* that you *may* be a bit judgemental. I do not know, I'm only suggesting that you may want to look at your own behaviors. That is one character trait that will turn others off very quickly. It is not a way to "make friends and influence people" as the saying goes.
(Please note, I could be very very wrong about this suggestion. I am only going by your one post here. You're asking for help, and I'm trying to provide it.)

I do think that the counselor is a good idea too. If you are open and honest with this person, it could do you a world of good.

I know that, for me, I had to learn about who *I* was and what *I* liked. Once that happened, things began to fall into place.

Peace!

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( depressed )))))))))))))))

[Miracle1986]

(((((depressed)))))