Tired of older people harassing me about my disability

I have gone from a cane to a rollator etc etc. I have a disabled parking permit, the works. I am 23. Every time, and every time I mean every single damn time, I park in the spot, I will have older people question me "are you really disabled?", "you're too young, this isn't for you", and one woman even took my cane from my hand which then left me in bed for a week.

I just needed to vent here because it's getting to the point where going out to support myself seems completely pointless as every time I do I manage to come home in tears.

Young people get sick. Young people go on chemo. Young people become disabled.

I would call the police and have the ones like the woman who took your cane from you arrested for assault and totally ignore the others and their ignorance. Everyone is always going to have opinions about things, whether they have any real knowledge of the subject or not. I was thinking about that yesterday when my husband and I came out of the fast food restaurant and I saw our car was parked over the line but then remembered when we parked, the people next to us were over their line causing us to park further over, etc. People do not think and try to figure things out, they just do their busy body assuming, like they were assigned to be in charge of these subjects. I taught myself a lesson when I was looking for trucks on a parkway they weren't allowed on and realized they aren't allowed, not for spite or because car drivers don't want them but because the road is not able to carry the weight. And, I was not in charge of worrying about that so why was I; it did not even affect me?

People must be freaks where you live. I'm so sorry.

But I think sometimes people's mental growth gets stunted so they don't grasp basic things like empathy and pure thought.

Maybe you can print some well phrased cards to hand over to people who whine, and try to guilt trip them. They are the ones who should be in tears!

Just because you get older, doesn't necessarily mean you get any smarter!

Once I wasn't in a great mood so must have frowned a bit, and some stupid old woman told me angrily I should be happy because I am young and healthy. I probably looked younger so I stated how old I was and not young, not healthy and I will never be her age.

That shut her up. LOL.

Sounds like the elderly think those handicapped spots are only for the old.

^
They do. They also think the bathroom stalls are for them, and priority seating on public transportation, etc.

Why can't older generations wrap their heads around the idea that young people, sadly, get ill and/or become disabled? It's not that complicated to understand. Now, if I was a little kid missing the chunks of hair I am missing now they'd bow to me. But as a twenty-something, I am a fake. I am not "that sick".

Holy crap balls. I'd tell them to ... [adult content] Old or young, nobody has the right to act like that! Jesus. Hugs for you! I swear, it's like some people just use something (like age) as an excuse to act like a grade A bum.

Classic grumpy, bitter old people. I am sorry they are taking their anger out on you.

I will tell you a story I think is great along this line: A friend of mine is disabled because of fibromylagia. Obviously that doesn't show. So, one time when she parked in the disabled spot with the appropriate card showing in her car, a lady came up and fussed her out. When my friend finally got a chance to get a word in edgewise, she explained to this lady what her handicaps were and why she was disabled.

After the lady listened, she snapped, "Well, you ought to have a sign around your neck explaining that that's what wrong with you!"

My friend's teenage daughter who was overhearing the encounter had had enough, so she spoke up and said, "Well, lady, in that case, you ought to have a sign around your neck that says, '*****'!" (rhymes with witch)

Grey Matter, not all of us old farts are idiots. I'm with the person who suggested charging the person who took your cane with assualt. Might habe been a woman, but she had some big balls! Disability strikes people of all ages. Sadly, some folks seem to believe that just because they have lived a bunch of years that a) they should get special treatment and b) are better than anyone younger than them. I'm sorry that you have run into so many people like this.

Trav, I love your friend's daughter's comment!

I had a friend who experienced this too. She NEEDS handicapped parking but is afraid of people verbally attacking her which she can't handle. Lots of people in our society are nasty. I'm sorry this happens to you Grey Matter.

I am realizing that when I get out of my car which is parked in a handicapped place, I tend to make sure to walk slower than I really have to and even limp a bit more than I have to. Hmmmm. No one has ever questioned me!

I went through that too (disabled at 34).

Fortunately the "elderly" of the future understand this a bit better. The elderly of "my" day and still some very elderly today just never, or rarely, saw a young disabled person (who could drive.) It isn't their personality, it's their lack of experience perhaps? Also, most very elderly only associate with others of their age and don't realize how dangerous the world is.

(I think also those who are in 80s+ had a mindset to work through your pain and don't complain. Of course there are those who complain about everything anyway.)

But in this vein, I was just parking lot "ticketed" for where I parked. I tried to speak with the non-English speaking security about their mistake but alas it did no good. Fortunately I let it roll that he refused to be educated. I won't be towed the next time I park in the same place anyway. They don't tow handicap vehicles here. Plus, I had already educated the management--complete with MY calling the police--years ago.

Let it go if you can. I know for myself the reason it hurt was because it was true...at my age I SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD to be disabled...but then, who does???

I just smile at them and nod now...drives them nutso! If they come up to me close enough to say something, I tell them thank you for looking out for the handicapped and how WE can't have nonhandicapped people parking in our places. lol

That's ****ed up! I hope she apologized when she saw what she did, at the very least. That's harassment! Perhaps you can get a bumper sticker that says, "yes, I really am disabled, thanks" or something similar- adding a brief description. But really, you shouldn't have to. I'm sorry you have to deal **** this BS.

Now, wait a minute, you young whippersnappers!

First of all, I would never judge someone for parking in a handicap space. How could I possibly know what your illness is or in what way you are incapacitated? It's the same thing with people who ride the carts in the stores-I would not dream of questioning them. I'm the one who always tries to help by getting things for them they can't reach, etc, and I am always rewarded with a smile.

I don't think it's just about age. I believe people who are rude and impatient and bitter and mean spirited in their later years have probably always been that way. I've also been the victim of agism. My left knee doesn't work all that well and I have to use a cane to walk any distance. Most people are decent about it and go out of their way to wait when I'm crossing the cross walk, or pull a shopping cart out for me. The bus drivers are either patient and nice or they are crabby and impatient if I have trouble getting on the bus. Some people will hold out their hand and some will look right through me as if I'm invisable.

I'm so sorry that you have had negative experiences with people who are older. I am sorry you must face such a debilitating illness. But please don't think that when someone is rude, it is just about their age. No one, young or older, has the right to question anyone about their health. But some people were raised with manners and to have respect for everyone-and some weren't.

And some older people do use their age to gain an advantage over other's.
I just think being 62 is cool because I get discounts! And honestly, the next time some old bat questions you, just tell her to fork off. I would.

Agreed. I have had young people who have been rude to me, too, because I have to walk slowly. (I am 59.)

I have that same rancid problem.im 35(though 88lbs&5'1)i get treated horribly by general people not just the old folks.its sad but when the disabled should help each other with just unspoken recognition and decent understanding,no.just like all else

Yeah, this wasn't me saying all older people. It is just a trend I noticed where I live. I did, as someone said before I re-read this thread, get a bumper sticker that says "Actually Disabled". Alas, hasn't done much for me. I have moved on to using a walker and I barely go out anymore, I don't see the point as every time I do, someone has to get at me about one thing or another. Someone always has to say something or insinuate I am a "fake" or comment about my hair loss. I will never win the battle against it. eh.

No i dont believe it gets better and people get worse.it makes me sick how on tv they brag about all this help & understanding for disabled people but its all a lie as far as ive experienced.the opposite actually.i dont go out unless forced during day walkers hours.i find my solice in the dark of night.i just stay in my room.i dont watch tv.i listn to my music.the window covered so i dont have to see outside during the day and have disco lights thing on and get lost in thought.i dont like society or have any want to be part of it either.i do feel for ya though.i have anti-social disorder and social/G.A.D. so its easier for me.ive never wanted to be part of anything really.but i can get how so very hard it must be.adapting to hard change seems impossible but not though it is a hell of a fight.

Such a different culture.. if someone here would comment on someone's disability everyone would think they were the weird one. When I read about the everyday life of Americans I get the feeling there is just so much hostility.

I could never, ever live in a country like that.

The hostility is incredible. Don't get me wrong, I have encountered many kind souls in regards to my illness/disabilities. My professor for my social work class, for example, is wonderful. Makes sure I am able to access close seating to the door, etc. It is just the random masses that don't understand and use that against me in some vain attempt to gain something from it.

It is amazing, really, that disabled and sick people are cherished in the media. Used as "inspiration porn", but in reality, people couldn't give less of a sh**.

When I was riding the subway I had really really bad tendinitis. I couldn't grasp anything or lift anything. I actually had to be given a break from my work because I could no long type, lift a pot/pan to cook, or write. People would give me rude looks for taking a seat (not one identified for disabled). Unless they wanted me to wrap my body around a pole (literally), there was no way I was going to be able to stand up on the subway. I figured that it was better for me to take one seat than a pole that four or more people could hold on to. I was even wearing wrist braises to guard my wrists. But still got evil looks when other people got on the subway. As it was my only form of transportation (and would not have been able to drive even had I had a car), I had to use it.

I think it is so rude for people to judge others when they don't know what is going on.

I am so sorry you have experienced it too. Especially when you're in so much pain, the last thing you want to deal with is people sneering at you and giving you looks for something you NEED for your health.

I never mind if someone asks kindly "are you okay?" "what's going on?", I am fine telling them "I am currently really sick and it has lead to my body becoming disabled.". But instead of asking questions, adults automatically tend to scoff and roll their eyes or huff when you aren't walking fast enough.

Kids, though. Kids are the best. I was waiting on line with my sister for a movie, and this little girl who was 5 or 6 said "What's that?" and her mom tried to shush her, but I explained "It's a walker. I am really sick and it's hard for me to get around." and she just nodded and said "I hope you feel better!".

Dear Grey Matter-

I read this thread again so I could try to truly understand what you must go through every day. I am so sorry you are ill and must suffer this at such a young age.

Please don't allow the ignorant to disaude you from doing what you want to do. People either have a kind and understanding heart-or they don't. I wish the one's who don't could feel your pain and your suffering for awhile-it might make them better human beings.

I have a tendancy to fight back. There is a pedestrian crossing near my house I must use when I take the city bus (they also have buses for the seniors and disabled where I live) and I have been known to charge out into the traffic, waving my cane in the air and yell Stop! And they do. Perhaps afraid of running down a crazy old lady. I decided I would not allow age to make me a victim and this crazy little old lady carries mace and a bowie knife in her purse.

People can be so cruel. When they should be thanking God that they are healthy and mobile, all they can think about is how taking a few seconds to offer help or wait for you to get where you are going might be the least bit inconvenient for them. I wish you could make a sign that reads-The rude and nosy will be met with deadly force!

Please don't allow these buffons to discourage you, my dear. I think you are brave and wonderful. There are people with good hearts all over the place. I live in Colorado, where people tend to be nicer. On my good days I can make it into the store without my cane because I can just hang onto the cart. Otherwise, I look very healthy. And no one, has ever questioned me or so much as given me a dirty look when I get out of my car after parking in the handicap zone.

I wish it could be the same for you. Perhaps the next time someone is nosy and or, rude-you can yell across the parking lot-I have cancer! Any questions?

I wish you all the best, my dear. You are so courageous.

Love, Tea

I have a disability myself, and work in a special school, plenty of young folks in wheelchairs, walkers, etc. Their parents get chewed out for parking in the disabled parking till they pull out the wheelchairs. people should just mind their own sodding business!