I have had a really bad migraine this week....have tried everything (chiropractor, massage, various pain meds, ice on my neck, rest, exercise) and it's better, but still kind of hanging on. Last week, I had terrible tummy problems - even made an appt with the GI doctor - see him next week. Tummy problems are what led me to see a T in the first place - I was in so much pain, but the doctors couldn't find anything physical, so somehow, I decided that maybe it was leftover from childhood stuff and sought therapy.

Anyhow, I talked to T yesterday on the phone and he told me that my youngest part has a lot of physical symptoms - tummy aches and headaches - and that she is pulling at me really hard I know he knows her and I don't (because I lose time when she is with T), but I just feel like . I'm not sure what I'm supposed to DO, I guess. If this is her pain, how do I make it go away? T said "you have the wisdom to figure it out". LOLOL Nice try, T.

I see T on Tuesday. Ugh, which makes my tummy hurt more. *I*, grown-up treehouse, don't want to look at the things that littlest treehouse is dealing with. SHE probably wants to be with T and hold his hand and talk and talk and talk. And whatever happens in therapy is just what happens, I probably shouldn't try to fight it. But I just feel like....UGH.

Has anyone else experienced this?? I want to heal but skip over the painful stuff. How can I be in my adult place but be feeling her physical pain?

Confused !!

[Kiya]

((((((((((((((Big and Lil Treehouse))))))))))))))

If I am reading into this right - and we do seem to walk the same path most the time - it feels to you like lil tree, and all these constant "physical" symptoms are your undoing (at least it often does for me... "i'd be FINE if.... i could get through a day w/o migraines, losing my meals, getting some sleep... not having these constant aches and pains...). But here's the kicker - Lil Tree is the KEY to getting through the junk. Whatever she went through is WHY you're in therapy, why you have physical pain, why no dr can FIND causes to your physical pain.
I know you want to be with T. But really, you gotta let lil tree do some of the work. She's the one who got you this far - it is her wound. =(
(((((((((((((((((((hugs! and lots of them!)))))))))))))))))))
and ok - really, i'm rather... well, not *jealous* that your lil actually gets to be with t... but.... I dunno. mine stay in and let me sit there like a blank TV set while t talks to the "box" that is us. i wish they WOULD get out here and start in. But they refuse.
anyway... Oh i was also gonna say (as I am sure you know, but maybe need a reminder) that you can draw the pain. Let lil tree try. Next time you have a stomach ache or migraine - pull out the paper and crayons or markers and let you both have at it. It will also help to bring you together so that she can learn to trust you and you don't have to lose time when she is out. =)

I just re-read what I wrote: "I want to heal but skip over the painful stuff" Ha! Talk about a wish from a younger part of me....

thanks, kiya. I KNOW you are right. the thing is, i "know" what little Tree went through, and I don't get why just the knowing isn't enough. i don't understand how to move through this and heal. i know t loves little tree a lot (probably more than grown up me. and hey, he loves teen too. hmmm jealous) and i know little tree loves him and wants to be with him.

whatever. i guess in a way i wish they would get ON with it so i could feel better. but wow, grown up me is fighting that, and hard. this stuff is just too creepy and yucky and scary to look at. she won't do it.

[Kiya]

=(
hmmmm that's an interesting comment.... "she" aka adult you, knows what the others went thru and yet "won't look at it". so there's a disconnect there? is there also an observer you? maybe the whole point is to come to a place of connection where lil, teen, adult, and (?) observer you can all feel the same things at the same time and have cohesion?

Would something as simple as a hot water bottle for little tree house calm the tummy for a while? If YOU feel unready to look at stuff, put it aside and treat the little ones symptoms...only my two cents....hope it helps.

[MissCharlotte]

((Tree))

Lol at the skipping over the painful parts. I have often said to T, "SO how do I GET RID OF IT?"

I also have physical symptoms that belong to younger parts. I think the way to manage them is to have adult me take me to the doctor and take care of little me the ways she needs to be cared for. Can adult Tree take care of little T? Give her some ginger Tea for her tummy aches?

Oh god, this is so bloody hard sometimes.

(((((((((((tree))))))))))))

[multipixie9]

Dear Tree,

I too have had many severe physical problems that were directly connected to the pain/memories/fears and abuser programming to "not tell or else".

As the adult I often wanted them to hurry up and tell what they were struggling with and "get out of the way of my life". I felt that they had been "sabotaging" me for most of my life. I had to feel all their illness/pain and mental fear and anguish. I just wanted them TO GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that was a BIG problem for THEM. The more I pushed them the harder they fought me off and the more rotten I felt and the more unstable and wonky I felt. Ugh, it was such a horrible time for all of us.

THEN, after a while I finally accepted that I must learn to love them, nurture them, listen to them and be good to them AND appreciate what they did to save our life, no matter how they did that - which included some scary things they did at times.

AS I grew to love them and accept them we gradually moved closer to each other and they stopped sabotaging the system and they began to receive some help and comfort and healing and truth and change. It may have been the hardest thing our adult parts had to do. We had a lot of bad programming inside of our mind and it had to break down the war/ conflict inside as we rejected the old programs and found truth.

My littles are me and I am them. We belong together and we must be each others friend and protectors in new healthy ways. The more I became protective and respectful of my littles the more they work with me for all our sakes.

Sorry to be so long-winded. It is kinda hard for me to explain this to you in words that make sense. It was a very internal kind of change and now I find myself very fond of my littles and I want their best for them. We all seem to be benefiting from my adult part becoming a nurturing advocate for all my littles. This is a 180 degree different outlook and attitude for Leslie.

I care and hope you all find your way to some peace and help for each other. It took all of you to survive to this point and all need respect and nurture and to be heard and cared for. (ok off the soapbox now =)

Leslie and the Precious Pixies (and awesome teeners)