Parts of me

And for me, open curtains/blinds means I can be "on the lookout" to see who's coming...so a safety thing, but just the opposite Wouldn't it be nice to just...feel safe?? Maybe someday...

I know others that are the same as far as needing to see like that. I'm not sure why I'm opposite. Well, except I always have to be facing the door and I can't sit next to or in front of a window. It would be amazing to feel safe, wouldn't it. I often don't even feel safe in the safety of my own home. Maybe one day for sure.

We hope you can have that feeling of safety also (((wantoheal))).
Do any of your alters have the ability to age shift?

I know i would fake being sick so i could stay home and watch "Highway to Heaven" with Michael Landon. He was my "safe guy". No one else was ever home.

yeah - on the "scary" part - we were just talking about that today with someone who is just 2 years into this journey. I'm on year 6 so i can still identify with where she is at, and give hope from where i am at now -while still identifying my current fears.

Yes... i know now that when i get triggered in therapy or swap out, the therapist actually falls asleep (or darn near)!! They yawn, their heads sometimes nod, their eyes glaze over. They all appologize and can't understand why it is only ever me that this happens with. I used to feel bad - thinking maybe I was an energy vampire or something! But I am now thinking - especially from reading your comment - that maybe part of our safety has been a psysical change of energy to exude calm over others when there is any sort of raised alarm, panic, anger, frustration... very, very interesting...

This has been problematic for my system as well/and the outer world. I look like i am calm, fine, dealing - when underneath all is chaos and my physical body is paying the price for it. Even in one special ed class i work in - they call me because they say the other subs freak out - but they tell me i am always calm and work well with the kids when *they lose it*. I'm really not calm at all - but i can feel the internal shift that starts sending out those "calm everyone down" waves and makes me appear calm while inside the fight/flight system has been engaged and i am on super alert, trying to figure things out while also trying to calm my own internal kids

Oh yeah - that age/time thing. I often tell people the wrong age or name then have to correct myself - tell them i didn't get enough sleep (usually true anyways) or that my "brain seems to be turned off" or whatever. As for seasons, my "years" seem to live only in one month. Each year I have noticed I have been in the same one month for the duration. When I first became aware of it, in my mind it had been March for YEARS. Why march? No idea. But March it was. At least 3-4 years. Then the next year it was actually April - all year. I was impressed I had graduated to April. Shockingly, that next year was May - such a nice change to March. And this year, it has been June all year. This seems very strange to me. Hmmmm no wonder my food stamps don't last the month. lol. In reality, with those, they seem to last 2 weeks, so i evidently have very long weeks.

This has been a very good thread wantto! glad you introduced it - i had a lot to learn.

((((Wanttoheal))))

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Thanks (((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))))

This is a really interesting concept Wantto. I definitely have a part that is good with bandaids so to speak and that same part can't look at blood or needles cause she passes out. Now this is interesting because cuts don't bother her nor do nosebleeds but IV's do and blood being drawn makes her queasy. When my son was in the hospital I held him but looked the other way. I'm not sure what perspective that part takes--whether it's a child's perspective. It very well might be. So if there is an emergency I am very very calm.

You gave me food for thought.