[silentandscared]

I'm posting this here cus l dont know where else to put it, if its in wrong place sorry in advance. Went to see T today and it appeared that all was calm and quiet within for the first time in along time and eerie silence. Triigers for few days have been low in one respect but high in the respect that there is just so much going onin our everyday life. T says that if there is so much going on then she neeeds to call out the others..........................l dont want them out, she dont get it that l need to stay here right now cus things are in such a big big mess and then she saying why aren't they doing there jobs l don't get it she upset everyone who is then left feeling that everything that is happening now is there fault once again and that they should somehow be protecting me from the things that ARE happening now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what is going on she is the one who is always saying that l am them and they are me all one person and yet today when l need her she wants them out, she upsets them all and makes me feel like l just have to put up and shut up. What is it she is trying to do??? l dont want the chaos back in my head as well as what is happening now too.......l cant stand NO MORE she dont get it l have so had enough of it all who am l am l them am l me am l all of us ....................l just dont know ...... don't want it and cant stand it its just too too much. Are we here , do we exist she has just so confused me and all of us..............when will this nightmare be over????? cus for now they dont want to go back there cus they feel that she is blaming them for now and we all have big big problems with being blamed for stuff. We thought that she understood , why did she do this???? cant we just have some peace sometimes or does it always have to be hurt, pain, fear, sadness, anger, and all the other yuk................ why dont they all just leave us alone sometimes

sorry for the rant and sounding so weak and pathetic but right now am thinking DONT EVER want to go back there

we are so done with it all being blamed for all this c.... we need to believe it werent our fault and then she comes out with this just because we are quiet.......maybe its best if we all just went back to our silent days and kept our hurt and shame private it was easier that way

sorry silentones

[pegasus]

I understand. T can push and push and push sometimes yep. It's hard work but worth it in the end.

Sending hugs ((((((((((( silentandscared ))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( silentandscared )))))))))))))))))

[silentandscared]

((((((((((((((( Pegasus ))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((( Furry Paws ))))))))))))))))

thank you so much ......................its just sooooo hard and l hate it all

im sorry

[Fox]

{hugs cause no words can bring comfort}

(((Silentandscared)))

It all can be so overwhelming sometimes. We are here to sit with you.

I'm holding you from a distance. I know you're tired of fighting... tired of feeling a bit better just to fall down again. That's the thing Mandy... your eyes are covered by life's dirty filter making it so hard for you to see how your struggle has payed of so many times... how you walk forwards in progress all the time even though it might feel like you're walking backwards. You take two steps forward and then when it's really rough maybe one step back... but you're still in progress... wandering on the path of recovery... you will never go back to square one. Two steps forwards and one step back... is one step won.
I'm walking beside you, dear friend of mine. You're always there to lift me up when I fall into the pit... I'm here for you too.

(((((((((( Mandy & all )))))))))))

N

(((((((SAS))))))))
First, take a breath
All the confusion and all of what you said can be re-directed to your T in either an e-mail (if she and you do that) or in a letter written by one or all of you--pretty much in lines what you wrote here.
re-read what you wrote here and re-write it asking her what happened in the last session.
We have done that often with our T.
We have a session where things just don't make sense and we hear her saying things that upset us......When we write her a letter and she reads it, it gives her the opportunity to explain.
some times we drop off the letter a day or two before we come or give it to her when we come and excuse us and go to the bathroom while she reads
Just something that works for us.

[silentandscared]

((((((((((((((( Fox ))))))))))))))))

(((((((((( Callista ))))))))))))))

(((((((((( Daynnight ))))))))))

ty all so much..................right now my mind is bursting and my head spinning so out of control and why????? all because she just couldnt leave it for today................im just so tired and it seems that no matter what l do it just isnt enough................wasnt then and it isnt now the end results are worth it or so they say..................right now l just want to scream and cry