[Monty_girl]

The last few days I've felt the need to share I guess my story. I've put a trigger on it, so please don't feel like you have to read it. I just need to say it. I've been in T for most of the last 8 years and 5 of those with the dx of MPD. Think I'm needing to say these things to know I'm real and my life is real. People who know me just a little ( just my outside life ) always joke and say my life could be a TV movie. If they only knew what was inside. That there are 23 of us living in this body. That the person they speak to on a daily basis isn't the one who was born in the body. My life could be a mini series. ( Laugh people that was a joke ) Ok so now I'm feeling somewhat safer in the forums I can let you all know my story. ( Ok grab a coke and chips feeling this will turn out to be long. I'm sorry, I know how hard it is to read long post sometimes. )

My life was normal until my parents were divorced when I was 4. This is when the trouble started. My mother met a guy down the street and started dating him. He started sexually abusing us right after they met. Most people can't remember the day that abuse first started. But we can. I hate Elvis! Can't stand anything to do with him. Songs, movies, pictures. Could never figure out why I hated him so much. But in T I found out that the day Elvis died was the first day our sexual abuse started. It went on from there. My mom married this loser. He got her wrapped up into sexually abusing us as well. I have many issues with my mother because of this fact. But my step-father went on from there and it was nothing to be physically abused for crying or laughing. At 6 I was raped for the first time by him. As time goes on abuse goes on. By 7 we had moved to another state and more abuse. My step-father had gotten us into a child pron ring. We were traded out to other men. This was a very hard time for us. We had to earn any food we ate by doing what our step-father wanted us to do. We were kept awake for days, straved, locked away for hours at a time and beaten. My mother finually escaped from him when we were 8. We lived with my grandparents. But it wasn't any better. My grandfather started sexually abusing us not long after we moved there. The first X-mas we lived there my step-father came to visit for the first time. He ended up stabbing my grandmother a few feet in front of me. I went on living with my grandparents for years after. I was a distrubbed child. I had many suicide attempts starting at the age of 10. But I would function at times. These were my pieces who cared for us then and did a wonderful job. I want to thank my pieces for keeping me, alive and safe. And to the sad and angery ones. Thank you for keeping those emotions for us. My grandfather died when we were 13, so that abuse stopped then. My alchololic grandmother held my sister and I hostage one night when I was 15. I haven't lived with my family since. We lived in mental hospitals and group homes till we were 17, this is when I moved in with my hubby and his family. My hubby saved my life back then, and gave me a chance to start a new life. OK so this is my story in a nut shell. Thank you just letting me tell everyone who we are. Monty and the pieces

Thank you so much to everyone in Monty for sharing that with us all. That took courage to tell and we are so proud of you for releasing that information to us.

Wow Monty. I'd offer hugs but not sure where you stand on them.

I'm very proud. I'm horrified at what you have all lived through. I'm amazed by the resiliency of everyone who kept you alive.

Wow and thank goodness you are here now, alive, and working on getting better. As to what 'getting better' looks like only your group can decide on what that means to all of you.

with great respect,

[LMo]

oh my god. Monty girl... I don't know what to say other than echo-ing ZH... with great respect,
LMo

[Mahali]

Monty,

I am impressed by your bravery. All of you. Few know just how difficult it is to put all that pain out there.

Thank you for trusting enough to share. I have nothing but respect for you and all with you.

Take very good care.

place

[Monty_girl]

Zh hugs are welcomed. I know that they are given with love and care and that makes them welcomed. "getting better" to me means understanding that I've done the best I could under the stress I was under. My T has told me many times that I will always need a T. I never learned any healthy coping skills growing up, so I'm just now learning how to deal with life. The hardest thing that I've had to learn is that it's OK to have emotions and it's OK to express them. I really wanted to tell my story to honor my pieces. I know that there are many times I hate them and wish they weren't there. But I think I tend to forget all that they have done for me. If they weren't there what would of happened to me? Think that's the main point that I'm wanting to get across. We hate losing time, hate the confusion they cause us. But what would we be without them? Over the last several months I've started having many flashbacks. Seeing what my pieces went through is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with so far. Having everyone here know a little bit about me and mine may make it easier for me down the line when I need a little extra support. Many of you all know that I recently started doing intense work in T. I'm very scared at this point. Think I just needed to let you all know where my fear is coming from. And I needed a place where I come say I'm scared. Thank you for giving me a place. Monty

[RhysMadison]

Monty, thank you for sharing your story here. I know it's difficult. It takes a lot to tell what happened, esp. to strangers over the internet. Know that we are here for you. Big hugs to all of you!
Love,
RhysMadison

[fairygirl]

You should be proud of yourself for sharing.

Forever,
Fi

[cat_eye]

hi monty. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It's awesome that you can confide in us like that! We're here for ya always. *safe hugs*

-carolyn

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((((( monty & monty persons )))))))))))))))))))))

i'm so proud of you all. i love you all. you all are an amazing gift to this world. job well done, everyone, in keeping my friend(s) alive and well. you went to college and everything. how beautiful you are to me.

love,

kd

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((((Monty))))))))))))))))))

[Kathyanita]

Monty-
there are too many parts with too much to say as a result of reading your story- It will take time to sort out the voices clamouring for speach and those advocating silence. But we are comforted to have this validation that it is real and has been real and our lives did really take place and are still being led. You have made yourselves exampoles of what is and might be possible to think and say ourselves. TY for that.

[Monty_girl]

Kathyanita,
Take your time, you are strong and you have a voice. You are real and your life did really take place. I wish for you and for all of us that we had perfect happy lives. But my magic wond isn't working to change what had happened. All we can do is be here to support each other in the healing. So if you feel like you need to speak we are all here to listen and never judge. Silence is sometimes the loudest sound there is.
Monty

[Monty_girl]

((((((((((((((((((((((((( KD ))))))))))))))))))))))))) Love Ya sweetie
(((((((((((((((((((((( wantt ))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((( ozzie ))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((((((( everyone who responded and would like one )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank You everyone who responded. It took a lot for me to say the few words I did. I wasn't sure how people would react to my life growing up. I am stronger now and I get stronger everyday. Even if I don't think so at the time, I still have bad days. But I've made it through the hard part.

[Mahali]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Take your time, you are strong and you have a voice. You are real and your life did really take place. I wish for you and for all of us that we had perfect happy lives. But my magic wond isn't working to change what had happened. All we can do is be here to support each other in the healing. So if you feel like you need to speak we are all here to listen and never judge. Silence is sometimes the loudest sound there is.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Wow Monty....that is so touching....and I am rarely touched. That is so true for all here.

You are right about silence being loudest but your great message came in loud and clear.

Thank you very much. I love your heart.

Take great care of you all.

place

[kerria]

((((((((((((((((((((Monty_girl)))))))))))))))))))))safe hugs
Thank you for every word that you wrote about your journey. Everything you wrote about your precious pieces is such a comfort to us. i hope that someday it can be the same- that inside us can be healed that way.

i'm so so very sorry for everything that you went through. Thank you for trusting so much, for sharing your story with us.

kerria and parts

[silver_queen]

(((((((((((((( monty and all )))))))))))) (if ok)

I admire you all so much for being able to share your story like that. it shows such great strength from all of you.

[Jinsi]

Applauding your courage and bravery for the parts of your story you have shared here.
Take gentle care of yourself/ves
Jinsi

[wisewoman]

Monty, I am sad that our world can hurt little innocent children as you were hurt. I am amazed at your ability to share it and I hold every word and reach to understand what that meant for you. We are told that rape is about power. Is this also true for sexual abuse of little children? I am so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately i can relate. Brave soul you are.