Interviewed 2 Ts. Need help deciding.

I can’t make up my mind, which is very normal in my life.

DID Psychologist (been publishing articles/books on the subject since the late 70s)

Disclaimer: This is how I remember the conversation. With my memory, there are probably inaccuracies.

She was very knowledgeable, and the internal frenzy felt less frenzied when I left. In fact, during the session she asked, “Do you know how many I’ve talked to since you’ve been here?” I said “no,” and then went back and forth about whether I wanted her to tell me. She finally said about four and described them. Interestingly, she mentioned one that I had a feeling was there but was unsure about: a smart a@* teenager type.

The connection I felt was from the smart a*@ side, who enjoyed playing a tennis match of words with her. I did not, though, feel like she could be someone I could open up to on the deeper issues and hard memories.

Her approach, as she explained, would be system work first, and then trauma work. I told her that I had already interviewed a trauma T and really felt a connection, so I asked her what difference I might expect between the two when it comes to treatment. She said:

1. Non-DID/Dissociative savvy trauma Ts will be more quick to diagnose something other than DID.
2. She also said that they will usually skip the internal system work because they don’t know how to assist there. I asked if the end result would be the same. She said eventually it would all work out, especially if I’m attuned to the internal system and am doing that work myself.
3. She also said that approaching the trauma from the system’s parts allows me to form a narrative. I asked if it’s necessary to form a “narrative” over just addressing the memories one-by-one without trying to piece them together from various parts. She said it’s not necessary.

Regarding the length of time this will take, she said average is 3-5 years. However, we both agreed that my life is very stable (great partner, great job, able to afford treatment, already working on eating disorder, etc.), so there’s no need to devote a lot of time to that in the beginning.

In the end she offered me an additional business card in case I’d like the trauma T to call her about our meeting.

Trauma T (Psychologist in practice for 30+ years)

I can’t believe how much info I let out in the first session. She asked and we were comfortable answering most questions.

Internally, everyone knows that she will take each memory, every detail, and hold it tenderly and just at the right distance for all of us as we work through it. She will not judge, she will listen, and she will care. Eventually, we will open up doors, spaces, drawers, and everything bad and dark to her. We will invite her in, and we will be comforted that she is sitting next to us as we process it all.

Additionally, just as important as the trauma work is finding a way spiritually (since much of the abuse came from that area in my life), and her presentation about addressing the spiritual aspect far exceeded the DID expert in this area.

She said she’d like to work with me and that if I decided upon her, that she would need to do a further assessment to ensure that she could help me in view of her not working with DDs previously.

Everyone, with the exception of the teenager and whoever’s been doing all the DID research over the past four months, is screaming for this one.

Interestingly, the primary part that was “interviewing” her was very cold during the meeting. She even asked jokingly, “Are you from the state’s Board of Psychology?”

Finally, I’ve given some thought to the possibility of working with both; yet, the DID expert asked me at the beginning if I was still working with the eating disorder specialist. I said no, and she said it’s best to work with one person through this. So I never went back and asked later about her thoughts of working with me on system while I work with the trauma T on trauma. And I’m not sure it’s possible to separate the two or if I’d want to work with two at the same time.

((((((((( writingwithink )))))))))

I am surprized that the 'Trauma' T has not worked with DDs previously even though she has over 30 years experience. That makes me wonder why.

I like the sound of the DID T from what you have written, doing system work and trauma work.

But it has to be entirely your decision. Which one did you best connect with, feel comfortable with and able to share with in the short time with them.

And finally, I agree, one psychologist is enough!

From what I have been coming to understand more and more the system and the communication within the system, is of paramount importance. I (actually parts) don't like working on communication between each other and would rather focus on the familiar patterns that come naturally to us when discussing the very hard personal experiences we went through.

I too wonder why a trauma T would not be more familiar with dissociation. That's something I would want to know for sure!

Also one T at a time. If I am talking to two I tend to want to play one against the other. That's just my system though.
I hope it was ok to put in my two cents.

With DID you need to work with someone that is experianced in handling the alters and the different problems caused by the trauma. These problems are very complexed and really do require someone who knows about them.

Wow! What a strong response in favor of the DID expert. I guess I should have expected that. I must say, though, I saw no compassion from the expert. I would most likely not open up to her. The system work would be stellar, but, as someone said on another board, "Some DID experts get too caught up in the drama and inner system stuff and forgo basic psychotherapy tenets required for empowerment, validation and healing." Interestingly, since I realized what's been going on, the system has evolved. Example: a mother just appeared out of nowhere to take care of the little ones, and I've stood back so amazed that she's apparently always been there. She's doing stuff like helping them build a safe place, helping them color, tucking them in at night, etc. It's almost as if she's taking control of things, and I'm just about ready to appoint her as the overall caretaker.

As mentioned in my original post, a healed spirituality is of utmost importance in this journey, and the DID expert offered nothing in that area. The trauma T (which I'm not sure if she's dealt with DD, I know for sure she has not dealt with DID; her specialty is Trauma/PTSD) was stellar in this area.

I think you should go with your feelings because it is your journey. I think whatever choice you make it will be the right one. That is my feeling. I just wanted to pass on info. that I have found and as I said my opinion in the first post.

I would go with the one you feel the best connection with...regardless of what their primary specialty is.

Our T, who we have been with for almost 8 years now, has some specialty in trauma/PTSD, children/teens, anxiety, and severe depression. We began seeing her for depression, and she diagnosed DID after 6 months. She has never directly worked with DID, but has supervised a few interns who have. This T told us at the time that she did not have experience but was willing to learn, and she was also willing to refer us to someone with experience if that is what we wanted. We chose to stay with her, and have not regretted that choice at all.

it sounds like u have already decided but are needing approval from us. Its your decision. IMO the did expert sounds the best she can already see when you are switching and she only just met you. I think it would be good to see someone who specialises

It is your decision. I see a perfectly good argument either way. It's a tough decision, I don't know what I'd pick in your shoes.

Thanks. I'm still on the fence. A part of me tried to schedule another appointment with the DID specialist yesterday, and the trauma psychologist returned my phone call from over the weekend about working with her. I can never make a decision.

Would it be possible to work with both at the same time? Doing the trauma work is IMHO the hardest part of the journey. I have one T and would really like a DID T as well. Just to be able to double team this issue andwork through it.

well i think it would be ok. It might get confusing and some T only want you to have one T! I have a T and a pdoc that does Therapy. Its working ok.

Thanks. I'm curious, how long have you had two and do they work together? Does one do system work and the other trauma?

As a follow-up, I've decided to go with the DID specialist. There was an extreme internal conflict on this one, and I wish I hadn't even taken the approach of "interviewing" two. Anyway, parts of me know this is the right choice.

Thanks,
Writing

no girl it is just gtting all your parts to agree to work together. we first had to use the majority rule decision but in time all will start to work togather when you honor all parts. that why we move quikly inaccepting each other now. because those that work togather share information. Like the T that suggested writingin journal that is what helped us move then we have to find something for them to work togerther to help with healing. It werid we are an odd fart but it works for us I am glad my foster mom took me in I just wish there were more like here. thanks for being here