[phoenix47baby]

In the middle of the night I got up and wrote a se*ually suggestive e-mail to a man I am dating. This is totally out of left field for me. I said things that I would rarely even think about. How can this happen? I know that I dissociate, but I have never identified any alter personalities and this e-mail appears to be written by someone other than me, but I checked my sent messages and I had to have done it because no one else lives with me. I am frightened and shocked at this development. I wonder what this man thinks of me now. Help!

[Miracle1986]

((((Phoenix))))

[reg12]

If you do have an alter, you may not know them. This is quite common. Do you have any periods of time that are missing? Do not be frightened.

If you are worried about the man you are dating, contact him by phone or email. Tell him the truth. Tell him you discovered that you sent an email in the middle of the night. Then take it from there. I am sure he will be ok with it. There was no harm done.

Originally Posted by phoenix47baby

In the middle of the night I got up and wrote a se*ually suggestive e-mail to a man I am dating. This is totally out of left field for me. I said things that I would rarely even think about. How can this happen? I know that I dissociate, but I have never identified any alter personalities and this e-mail appears to be written by someone other than me, but I checked my sent messages and I had to have done it because no one else lives with me. I am frightened and shocked at this development. I wonder what this man thinks of me now. Help!

[phoenix47baby]

Reg12,

thank you for the support. i have written to him to apologize but he said it was no big deal. How I am supposed to discover this personality I do not know!
phoenix

[multipixie9]

phoenix,

when my alts do something puzzling i "talk to my head". i tell them what is happening and how i feel about it and ask them for help or answers. can't say i always get them, but my T assures me that internal communication is super-important and is worth any effort to establish more info shared by others.

i had a 4 day thing where my family still hasn't told me what all i did and said and no one inside has told me what happened. they thought i'd gone back to the bad old days when i used to be addicted to pain killers and my husband even accused me of misusing my meds and i made him count them. never mind all my stuff - the point is that it does happen to all of us who dissociate and if you don't acted freaked out then others will not either.

when you can talk to the system of alts inside please warn them about putting stuff out online or emails because once things are out there they can never be totally gone again.

hang in there, it will improve

[WePow]

multi is right - the very best way to find out what an alter is thinking is to ask them.
Because of the nature of alters, we multiples have to develop internal social skills. We have to get to know those individuals much the same way we would get to know an "outsider" - Slowly, and with respect.

Just the same as we do not like everyone in the outside world, we may not like everyone on the inside. And they may not like us. I am starting to learn that the secret to internal communication is to work along the same social lines as I would with any outsider. I demand that I be shown respect for one. And I also show them respect. I allow for difference of opinion. And I say "Hello" when I sense them close to the switching point. And I ask them how they are doing.

Just by doing these things that sound simple, we open the doors to internal civility!

[phoenix47baby]

Thank you Multi and WPowers for such tremendous insight into alters. I never thought that I had an alter, but she is an aggressive one. Today I felt my temper soaring and I stopped and asked myself if this were she who came out last weekend and went on the internet. So quickly the feeling that she was there vanished. I think I am getting on to something. Thanks for your wonderful time and help. It is appreciated! phoenix

[multipixie9]

You are SOO welcome, Phoenix47Baby, I have only recently learned what I shared. Our denial alters system was extremely powerful and I went to extremes of denial and rejected my alts as I'd been rejected and boy did that lead to some horrible times for us all. We all hate and fear rejection and my alts found some ways to yank my chain for not being respectful of them or listening to them.

I appreciate all of you here and some other great people online. Our progress has been greatly improved as we have learned from others and been "gifted" with their acceptance of me/us as we have manifest in the multiple faces of my pixies. I can't say well enough what a huge gift this has been to me. Sending hugs and hoping the weekend is peaceful and has some joy or pleasure in it for you all.

[anderson]

yes some alt will only come forward just a little each time. just to test the water so to speak. but you do the very same thing I do. I stop and ask my self who is time sharing with me and that it is okey to come forward but please share with me in hopeful a non public place this is where journaling may help. we tellthem tha tit is okey to be angry and that we all feel angry at what happened to us and as to the alt that contacted the man do you like him to. if so you may have found someone ya'll will like. Just tell her to let you know next time.

[anderson]

this story reminds me of my foster mom. She had just moved in with my foster dad when he started to get letters in his pocket all in diffrent hand writings. my dad still had them. at first he was unsure about what to do but he known that my mom was the one. the one thing about each letter was that each part asked him to marry them seperatly. He known that mom was hurt bad as a child. Even he had the scars from being abused by his stepfather. He waited until they started to talk with him then he showed them the letters. that was when ma whent into therapy. Papa always said that they healed together. I still dream of having a love like that.

[reg12]

They can hear you. They may not know how to "talk" to you. Some speak very softly and you just think it is an idea that you had. They can do other things also that can be annoying.

Originally Posted by phoenix47baby

Reg12,

thank you for the support. i have written to him to apologize but he said it was no big deal. How I am supposed to discover this personality I do not know!
phoenix

[reg12]

Most alters have only one developed emotion.

Originally Posted by phoenix47baby

Thank you Multi and WPowers for such tremendous insight into alters. I never thought that I had an alter, but she is an aggressive one. Today I felt my temper soaring and I stopped and asked myself if this were she who came out last weekend and went on the internet. So quickly the feeling that she was there vanished. I think I am getting on to something. Thanks for your wonderful time and help. It is appreciated! phoenix

[phoenix47baby]

Thank you, Anderson and Multi. I am still learning from you guys! Have a great weekend.
phoenix47

[phoenix47baby]

I am thinking that most of the time I feel like a 7 year old on the inside even though on the outside I am displaying tendencies of a grown woman. The woman that came out and wrote on the internet was my age now of 47 but acted more like she was a young 27 year old. This is very confusing because I am bearly scraping the surface of getting in touch with whoever else might be around. Getting in touch doesn't make sense. The alters are either on full blast or they are silent. It is soo black and white. There isn't even a hint of grey around. Thanks for reading. phoenix47baby

[reg12]

The 7 year old is peaceful and loving. She probably feels good to you. The 27 year old is probably younger. Some alters do age, but not at the same rate as the host. The grown woman is you.

I know this seems confusing when you first try to think about it. Getting in touch with them is not normally an option. They probably have been contacting you for quite some time, but it has been very easy. They seem to normally get very stronger in a persons 30s and 40s. I hope this helps.

[phoenix47baby]

Dear Reg,

Thank you so much for your insight and knowledge. Wow. What more can I expect? I am hoping to have a full-blown conversation. Isn't it interesting that the 7 year old who is sweet and innocent was the age when the mo****ation got so bad? This must have been the time of the heavy wounding. Thanks again, Reg. phoenix47baby

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by phoenix47baby

In the middle of the night I got up and wrote a se*ually suggestive e-mail to a man I am dating. This is totally out of left field for me. I said things that I would rarely even think about. How can this happen? I know that I dissociate, but I have never identified any alter personalities and this e-mail appears to be written by someone other than me, but I checked my sent messages and I had to have done it because no one else lives with me. I am frightened and shocked at this development. I wonder what this man thinks of me now. Help!

i didnt have to talk to my laters, get to know them or socialize with them in any way. in fact whereI recieved my therapy calling out alters to talk to them socialize with them, switch on purpose, have internal dialogues was not what they did because their rules they have to work by stated this kind of thing could promote something called false memory syndrome where the clients may possibly create more alters and memories just to please the therapist,whether they were aware of doing so or not.

I had a few alters that did things like smoke, get drunk, have sex, pick up strangers. the way we worked out the situaiton was by looking at my own personal needs and wants to see what was lacking or what was triggering me into these alters. once we took care of the situaiton I did not switch into those negative alters and behavours. in the situaiton of picking up strangers and having sex the problem was I was not satisified and getting what I needed through the partner that I had at that time. and other times I was getting triggered during sex with my partner so I would go long periods without. The stronger the urge in me the more I sought out others. So I ended up having to take a sex ed class for women and learning how to please myself. once I learned what pleased myself I was able to be more open with my partner and take what I learned about pleasuring myself and bring it into the time my partner and I spend together. Along the way that alter merged with me and became one with me because their job of making sure my intimate needs were taken care of without my needing to switch into that alter.

I was taught that alters are part of me and if thats so with you then a part of you does think about those things so on some level you do do whether you are aware of doing so or not. Talk with your boyfriend, therapist or take a class where you can learn about your intimate needs in a safe way and then as you learn what pleases you carry it into your intimate life with your boyfriend.

[Miri]

I understand how you might be feeling and have had a similar experience quite recently, but sorry, am not comfortable talking about it here. If you want to PM me I'll share it.

I feel a need to point out something. As people with DD we are still individual in how that is expressed. Not everyone loses time. This is just a little reminder that despite all that we share, we are still our own best experts on ourselves, our needs, our best ways to respond to ourselves. That does not discount the wisdom that is shared by everyone who reaches out to others here. We need reminders at times, of how we might help ourselves.

Hon, you sound like you are figuring it out. Trust yourself.if safe
Miri

[reg12]

It is quite normal for that to happen under those conditions. Unfortunately yes there was trauma at the time. That is why she is there. She was created for a reason and when they come out, it is for a purpose. Their reason, their purpose, how to have a conversation and what more to expect is not something I want to talk about here. It may cause other to be uncomfortable. This is a very sensitive area. If you need more information you may PM me. Take care.

Originally Posted by phoenix47baby

Dear Reg,

Thank you so much for your insight and knowledge. Wow. What more can I expect? I am hoping to have a full-blown conversation. Isn't it interesting that the 7 year old who is sweet and innocent was the age when the mo****ation got so bad? This must have been the time of the heavy wounding. Thanks again, Reg. phoenix47baby

[phoenix47baby]

Thank you Amandalouise, Miri and Reg for added insight and knowledge and the push in the right direction. I really appreciate the support. It is mind-blowing and baffling to try and understand this information at the beginning of this discovery. Thanks much! phoenix47baby